The World's Funniest Joke -- Official
Thu Oct 3, 2002 10:34 AM ET
By Corey Ullman
LONDON (Reuters) - After a year of painstaking scientific research, the world's funniest joke was revealed on Thursday.
In a project described as the largest-ever scientific study into humor, the British Association for the Advancement of Science ( news - web sites) asked Internet users around the world to submit their favorite jokes and rate the funniness of other people's offerings.
More than 40,000 jokes from 70 countries and two million critiques later, this is it:
"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
Researchers found significant differences between nations in the types of jokes they found funny.
People from the UK, the Republic of Ireland, Australia and New Zealand preferred gags involving word play, such as:
PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."
Americans and Canadians favored jokes where people were made to look stupid.
TEXAN: "Where are you from?"
HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."
TEXAN: "OK -- where are you from, jackass?"
Meanwhile, many Europeans liked gags that were surreal or made light of serious subjects such as illness, death and marriage:
A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?'
"But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.'"
Marriage-mocking also featured in the top American joke:
"A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
"He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: 'Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.'
"The man then replies: 'Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.'"
Death earned big laughs in Scotland:
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."
And animals figured prominently. Take the number one joke in England:
"Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
"The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
"The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
"The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk.'"
The survey revealed other fun facts:
-- Of the countries rating the highest number of jokes, Germans, perhaps surprisingly, laughed the most. Canadians laughed least.
-- If you want to tell a funny animal joke, make it a duck.
-- The most frequently submitted joke, at 300 times, was: "What's brown and sticky? A stick."
Researchers said no one ever found it funny.
The findings can be read at www.laughlab.co.uk
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Sheep Lost for 6 Years Gets Sheared on TV
Yahoo! News - Sheep Lost for 6 Years Gets Sheared on TV:
"Sheep Lost for 6 Years Gets Sheared on TV
Thu Apr 29, 9:15 AM ETAdd Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!
WELLINGTON, New Zealand - Shrek the hermit ram took six years to grow his massive fleece. On Wednesday, a champion shearer clipped it off in just 20 minutes on live television in this nation of 4 million people and 42 million sheep.
Named after the ogre from the animated film, the merino sheep had been on the lam and living in mountain caves for six years after escaping from his domestic flock.
But after coming in from the cold, Shrek lay quietly on his back as former world champion blade shearer Peter Casserly clipped 60 1/2 pounds of fine merino wool from the sheep in front of a local audience of more than 250 and a TV audience stretching from New Zealand to Japan.
In this country where sheep outnumber people by more than 10-1, Shrek has become a star since being caught recently in New Zealand's South Island high country.
The merino was captured hiding in a rock cave near the top of the "Bendigo" high country ranch in Central Otago on South Island during an annual muster earlier this month.
Sheep station musterer Anne Scanlan said the elusive Shrek "was wild when we caught him ... and he's turned into such a character and personality."
"It shows they are absolutely intelligent ... something people don't believe," she said.
Ranch owner John Perriam said the ram would have had "little food in winter" when snow piles up more than 6 feet deep, bitter winds blow across the mountain peaks, and grazing would only be possible when snow was blown off slopes.
The shearing ended with an unsteady Shrek wrapped in a special red and blue winter jacket fitted to protect him from the cold of the advancing Southern Hemisphere winter.
Children in the audience clapped as the sheep stood up, looking to be a quarter of his previous size.
Shrek's wool will be auctioned on the Internet, with proceeds being used for a "Cure Kids" cancer campaign in New Zealand.
___
On the Net:
www.shrekauction.co.nz
"Sheep Lost for 6 Years Gets Sheared on TV
Thu Apr 29, 9:15 AM ETAdd Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!
WELLINGTON, New Zealand - Shrek the hermit ram took six years to grow his massive fleece. On Wednesday, a champion shearer clipped it off in just 20 minutes on live television in this nation of 4 million people and 42 million sheep.
Named after the ogre from the animated film, the merino sheep had been on the lam and living in mountain caves for six years after escaping from his domestic flock.
But after coming in from the cold, Shrek lay quietly on his back as former world champion blade shearer Peter Casserly clipped 60 1/2 pounds of fine merino wool from the sheep in front of a local audience of more than 250 and a TV audience stretching from New Zealand to Japan.
In this country where sheep outnumber people by more than 10-1, Shrek has become a star since being caught recently in New Zealand's South Island high country.
The merino was captured hiding in a rock cave near the top of the "Bendigo" high country ranch in Central Otago on South Island during an annual muster earlier this month.
Sheep station musterer Anne Scanlan said the elusive Shrek "was wild when we caught him ... and he's turned into such a character and personality."
"It shows they are absolutely intelligent ... something people don't believe," she said.
Ranch owner John Perriam said the ram would have had "little food in winter" when snow piles up more than 6 feet deep, bitter winds blow across the mountain peaks, and grazing would only be possible when snow was blown off slopes.
The shearing ended with an unsteady Shrek wrapped in a special red and blue winter jacket fitted to protect him from the cold of the advancing Southern Hemisphere winter.
Children in the audience clapped as the sheep stood up, looking to be a quarter of his previous size.
Shrek's wool will be auctioned on the Internet, with proceeds being used for a "Cure Kids" cancer campaign in New Zealand.
___
On the Net:
www.shrekauction.co.nz
Monday, April 05, 2004
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