By JAKE COYLE, Associated Press Writer
NEW YORK - Just think: Instead of exposing Janet Jackson (news)'s breast at the Super Bowl last Feb. 1, what if Justin Timberlake (news) reached across her chest, fumbled with Jackson's top and .... The stitching holds! There is no malfunction!
That means no national discussion of showbiz morals, no drastic tightening of FCC (news - web sites) restrictions — but the fallout is just as serious.
Cameron Diaz (news), mortified by her boyfriend's failed attempt to reach second base, breaks up with Timberlake before the Super Bowl is even over. She immediately sends word to New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady that she's available.
The flustered Brady is a wreck in the second half, and the Carolina Panthers cruise to a surprise victory. A few days later, as the late night jokes skewer Timberlake, Britney Spears (news) (fresh off her annulled marriage to a no-name childhood friend) grows sympathetic toward her big-name former sweetheart, and they elope.
At the impromptu reception, Spears sees Timberlake's ex-backup dancer Kevin Federline outduel him in a dance-off. Annulment No. 2 follows — but Spears is too jaded to tie the knot with Federline. They live in sin instead.
Indirectly affected by "the butterfly effect" (which is NOT a scientific theory regarding the questionable stature of Ashton Kutcher movies), Gwyneth Paltrow's baby girl is named "Arugula."
Without the Super Bowl controversy, Disney sees no risk in distributing Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11." The box-office hit saves the job of beleaguered Disney chief Michael Eisner. However, an out-of-date memo stating Eisner will be fired ends up at CBS News, which erroneously reports that the CEO is being ousted.
Though a considerable embarrassment, the experience forces CBS and Dan Rather to tighten up their fact-checking. The President Bush (news - web sites)/National Guard story never makes it on air. Rather's job is secure for the next 10 years.
Meanwhile, Mel Gibson (news) decides not to subtitle the Aramaic dialogue in "The Passion of the Christ," and moviegoers stay away. Instead, pundits focus their attention on the arguably anti-Semitic qualities of Al Pacino's "Merchant of Venice." At one point, Jon Stewart surprises Pacino on Letterman, tells him "I think what you're doing is wrong" and makes an unprintable reference to the male anatomy.
New York Times columnist Frank Rich still wages his Gibson crusade, and the actor still says he wants to kill Rich's dog. Though Rich has no dog, his neighbor's cocker spaniel mysteriously winds up dead — with a very "Braveheart"-esque spear as the murder weapon.
To shore up his image, Gibson signs on to produce his own ABC drama, "Fundamentalist Housewives." But a Monday Night Football lead-in showing Monica Belluci shedding her ankle-length dress and jumping into the arms of Eagles receiver Terrell Owens elicits nationwide condemnation. Red State viewers flee NFL broadcasts in droves.
Seeking to boost ratings, the NFL picks Lindsay Lohan to perform at halftime of the 2005 Super Bowl. The show (featuring her much-debated, um, maturing physique) is wildly over the top. An onlooking Usher can only exclaim, "Yeah!"
Welcome to 2005. Even fake history is doomed to repeat itself
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Comedian Rodney Dangerfield's One-Liners
Comedian Rodney Dangerfield's One-Liners
Tue Oct 5,10:27 PM ET
By The Associated Press
A sampling of comedian Rodney Dangerfield (news)'s one-liners:
Oct. 5, 2004, Joke of the Day on Dangerfield's Web site:
'I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, 'There goes the neighborhood!''
___
'When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother.'
___
'When I started in show business, I played one club that was so far out, my act was reviewed in Field and Stream.'
___
'Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: `Basement?''
___
'When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up.'
___
'I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, `Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. There was nobody home.'
___
'When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me."
___
"When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names — hers and her mother's."
___
"With my wife, I don't get no respect. The other night there was a knock on the front door. My wife told me to hide in the closet."
___
"With my wife, I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it."
Tue Oct 5,10:27 PM ET
By The Associated Press
A sampling of comedian Rodney Dangerfield (news)'s one-liners:
Oct. 5, 2004, Joke of the Day on Dangerfield's Web site:
'I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, 'There goes the neighborhood!''
___
'When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother.'
___
'When I started in show business, I played one club that was so far out, my act was reviewed in Field and Stream.'
___
'Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: `Basement?''
___
'When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up.'
___
'I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, `Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. There was nobody home.'
___
'When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me."
___
"When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names — hers and her mother's."
___
"With my wife, I don't get no respect. The other night there was a knock on the front door. My wife told me to hide in the closet."
___
"With my wife, I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it."
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Yahoo! News - Soldiers' War Blogs Detail Life in Iraq
Soldiers' War Blogs Detail Life in Iraq
Sun Sep 26, 9:16 AM ET Add Technology - AP to My Yahoo!
By ELLEN SIMON, AP Business Writer
Iraq war blogs are as varied as the soldiers who write them. Some sites feature practical news, war pictures and advice. Some are overtly political, with more slanting to the right than to the left. Some question the war, some cheer it. While some military bloggers (or milbloggers) say their commanders have encouraged their online literary ventures, a few say their commanders have shut them down.
For the folks back home, soldier blogs offer details of war that don't make it into most news dispatches: The smell of rotten milk lingering in a poor neighborhood. The shepherd boys standing at the foot of a guard tower yelling requests for toothbrushes and sweets. The giant camel spiders. The tedium of long walks to get anything from a shower to a meal. A burning oil refinery a hundred miles away blocking the sun. A terrifying night raid surprised by armed enemies dressed in black.
Spc. Colby Buzzell and a handful of others write unvarnished war reporting. But many of these blogs have been shut down.
Buzzell's squad was on a mission in a poor neighborhood in Mosul when two Iraqi boys ran up carrying old artillery shells. "Give me a dollar!" they said.
Another came carrying bullets and demanding money.
"Then, all of a sudden, this really skinny Iraqi kid comes running up to us with a f---- HAND GRENADE in his hand," Buzzell wrote on his war blog. " 'Drop the f---- hand grenade! Drop it now!' We all started yelling. The little kid, still with this proud smile on his face that said, 'Look what I just found' just dropped the grenade on the ground, and walked over to my squad leader and said, 'Give me money!'"
The grenade didn't go off.
The squad leader explained to his men that an Army division that had been in the area earlier had paid children for weapons or unexploded ordnance.
For Buzzell, an infantryman in an Army Stryker brigade, it was grist for his online war diary, http://cbftw.blogspot.com, whose fans range from soccer moms and truck drivers to punk band leader Jello Biafra. Before the counter dropped off the site, says Buzzell, he was getting 5,000 hits a day.
Buzzell says he was banned from missions for five days because of the blog and has stopped adding new narrative entries.
On the blogs, soldiers complain, commiserate and celebrate their victories and ingenuity.
What do you do if the electricity goes out while you're sitting in the latrine, leaving you in complete darkness with a dead flashlight? Blog answer: Reach into your cargo pocket and crack open a Chemlight.
The blogs offer more than war stories, they offer images from Iraq not seen elsewhere, like a sign in an office with no air conditioning: "We're in the desert. The desert is hot. Now quit your whining." and a sign on a truck, presumably driven by National Guardsmen: "Two weekends a month, my a--!"
Sean Dustman, a 32-year-old Navy corpsman from Prescott, Ariz., started writing his blog, http://docinthebox.blogspot.com, after reading other war blogs.
"I was entranced with their stories," said Dustman, who recently returned from six months in Iraq. "This was where the real news that mattered to me was coming from, unlike what you saw through the regular media. Reading them (the blogs) helped me and my Marines prepare for the trip."
Dustman started a photo blog, where he'd post pictures of his unit. Relatives visited religiously — and let him know with instant feedback when he wasn't getting new pictures up fast enough. One comment: "Where is my Cody??!!"
Other bloggers encouraged him to write more than photo captions, so he did.
In April, Dustman wrote about flying over Baghdad. "At night there's hardly a flight that there's not someone shooting at you. They can't see the aircraft (hopefully), but as soon as they hear one coming, they come out and shoot into the air. Mainly they're hoping to get a lucky shot in. A tracer flies by a window and we're banking and rolling, which is kinda like gambling, they can't see us, we can't see them either, a great game of Battleship in the sky."
Leaving Iraq, he gave a litany of advice for soldiers heading there.
"The biggest way to save money on a trip to Iraq is to have a quality battery charger," he began. Later, he wrote, "Be nice to everyone. Remember, everyone is armed ...."
A recurring theme is the flashes of military absurdity, such as the hurried martial arts training some Marines undergo before they leave Iraq.
One blogger said his platoon is trying "to qualify everyone in the company for the next belt level in, like, fifteen days with only one instructor (the other having gone slightly nuts and been shipped off for everyone's safety.)" The blogger asked that his name and screen name not be used because he feared disciplinary action.
Jason Hartley called his blog "Just Another Soldier" and wrote unflinchingly about everything from his buddies' families to the conditions on base.
"I think I've been duped," he wrote from a base in October 2003, while his unit was preparing to go to Iraq. "I'm not actually at a modern US military installation, but Sing Sing, circa 1940."
"My commander had a meltdown when he discovered it," Hartley, a sergeant in the New York National Guard, said of his blog in an instant message. "He demanded I take it down."
The Pentagon (news - web sites) has "no specific guidelines on blogging per se," said Cheryl Irwin, a Defense Department spokeswoman. "Generally, they can do it if they are writing their blogs not on government time and not on a government computer. They have every right under the First Amendment to say any darn thing they want to say unless they reveal classified information, and then it becomes an issue as a security violation."
Military bloggers say they're careful not to reveal any information that would be useful to enemies. "Nowhere does either blog say where I was or give out full names of anybody but myself," Dustman said.
One military blogger speculated on his site that the Army would eventually develop a liberal policy on blogging and other instant communication.
"The Internet is such a wonderful tool to keep soldiers connected with their friends and family and has a huge morale impact that prohibiting access would create a huge outcry," wrote Eric Magnell, a lawyer whose blog, http://www.daggerjag.blogspot.com, chronicles his work with the Army as it tries to build a legal system in Iraq. "The Army isn't a sinister organization looking to trample individual freedoms, but, as any large bureaucracy, it can be slow to react to new situations and changes in the environment."
Said Dustman, "Most people do have their minds made up about the war, but bloggers let them know that we're human too, just like them. We're the best way for the public to take a pulse on how we're handing the situation."
Sun Sep 26, 9:16 AM ET Add Technology - AP to My Yahoo!
By ELLEN SIMON, AP Business Writer
Iraq war blogs are as varied as the soldiers who write them. Some sites feature practical news, war pictures and advice. Some are overtly political, with more slanting to the right than to the left. Some question the war, some cheer it. While some military bloggers (or milbloggers) say their commanders have encouraged their online literary ventures, a few say their commanders have shut them down.
For the folks back home, soldier blogs offer details of war that don't make it into most news dispatches: The smell of rotten milk lingering in a poor neighborhood. The shepherd boys standing at the foot of a guard tower yelling requests for toothbrushes and sweets. The giant camel spiders. The tedium of long walks to get anything from a shower to a meal. A burning oil refinery a hundred miles away blocking the sun. A terrifying night raid surprised by armed enemies dressed in black.
Spc. Colby Buzzell and a handful of others write unvarnished war reporting. But many of these blogs have been shut down.
Buzzell's squad was on a mission in a poor neighborhood in Mosul when two Iraqi boys ran up carrying old artillery shells. "Give me a dollar!" they said.
Another came carrying bullets and demanding money.
"Then, all of a sudden, this really skinny Iraqi kid comes running up to us with a f---- HAND GRENADE in his hand," Buzzell wrote on his war blog. " 'Drop the f---- hand grenade! Drop it now!' We all started yelling. The little kid, still with this proud smile on his face that said, 'Look what I just found' just dropped the grenade on the ground, and walked over to my squad leader and said, 'Give me money!'"
The grenade didn't go off.
The squad leader explained to his men that an Army division that had been in the area earlier had paid children for weapons or unexploded ordnance.
For Buzzell, an infantryman in an Army Stryker brigade, it was grist for his online war diary, http://cbftw.blogspot.com, whose fans range from soccer moms and truck drivers to punk band leader Jello Biafra. Before the counter dropped off the site, says Buzzell, he was getting 5,000 hits a day.
Buzzell says he was banned from missions for five days because of the blog and has stopped adding new narrative entries.
On the blogs, soldiers complain, commiserate and celebrate their victories and ingenuity.
What do you do if the electricity goes out while you're sitting in the latrine, leaving you in complete darkness with a dead flashlight? Blog answer: Reach into your cargo pocket and crack open a Chemlight.
The blogs offer more than war stories, they offer images from Iraq not seen elsewhere, like a sign in an office with no air conditioning: "We're in the desert. The desert is hot. Now quit your whining." and a sign on a truck, presumably driven by National Guardsmen: "Two weekends a month, my a--!"
Sean Dustman, a 32-year-old Navy corpsman from Prescott, Ariz., started writing his blog, http://docinthebox.blogspot.com, after reading other war blogs.
"I was entranced with their stories," said Dustman, who recently returned from six months in Iraq. "This was where the real news that mattered to me was coming from, unlike what you saw through the regular media. Reading them (the blogs) helped me and my Marines prepare for the trip."
Dustman started a photo blog, where he'd post pictures of his unit. Relatives visited religiously — and let him know with instant feedback when he wasn't getting new pictures up fast enough. One comment: "Where is my Cody??!!"
Other bloggers encouraged him to write more than photo captions, so he did.
In April, Dustman wrote about flying over Baghdad. "At night there's hardly a flight that there's not someone shooting at you. They can't see the aircraft (hopefully), but as soon as they hear one coming, they come out and shoot into the air. Mainly they're hoping to get a lucky shot in. A tracer flies by a window and we're banking and rolling, which is kinda like gambling, they can't see us, we can't see them either, a great game of Battleship in the sky."
Leaving Iraq, he gave a litany of advice for soldiers heading there.
"The biggest way to save money on a trip to Iraq is to have a quality battery charger," he began. Later, he wrote, "Be nice to everyone. Remember, everyone is armed ...."
A recurring theme is the flashes of military absurdity, such as the hurried martial arts training some Marines undergo before they leave Iraq.
One blogger said his platoon is trying "to qualify everyone in the company for the next belt level in, like, fifteen days with only one instructor (the other having gone slightly nuts and been shipped off for everyone's safety.)" The blogger asked that his name and screen name not be used because he feared disciplinary action.
Jason Hartley called his blog "Just Another Soldier" and wrote unflinchingly about everything from his buddies' families to the conditions on base.
"I think I've been duped," he wrote from a base in October 2003, while his unit was preparing to go to Iraq. "I'm not actually at a modern US military installation, but Sing Sing, circa 1940."
"My commander had a meltdown when he discovered it," Hartley, a sergeant in the New York National Guard, said of his blog in an instant message. "He demanded I take it down."
The Pentagon (news - web sites) has "no specific guidelines on blogging per se," said Cheryl Irwin, a Defense Department spokeswoman. "Generally, they can do it if they are writing their blogs not on government time and not on a government computer. They have every right under the First Amendment to say any darn thing they want to say unless they reveal classified information, and then it becomes an issue as a security violation."
Military bloggers say they're careful not to reveal any information that would be useful to enemies. "Nowhere does either blog say where I was or give out full names of anybody but myself," Dustman said.
One military blogger speculated on his site that the Army would eventually develop a liberal policy on blogging and other instant communication.
"The Internet is such a wonderful tool to keep soldiers connected with their friends and family and has a huge morale impact that prohibiting access would create a huge outcry," wrote Eric Magnell, a lawyer whose blog, http://www.daggerjag.blogspot.com, chronicles his work with the Army as it tries to build a legal system in Iraq. "The Army isn't a sinister organization looking to trample individual freedoms, but, as any large bureaucracy, it can be slow to react to new situations and changes in the environment."
Said Dustman, "Most people do have their minds made up about the war, but bloggers let them know that we're human too, just like them. We're the best way for the public to take a pulse on how we're handing the situation."
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Armed Robbers Steal Munch's 'The Scream' in Oslo
Sun Aug 22,12:26 PM ET
By Alister Doyle and Inger Sethov
OSLO (Reuters) - Armed robbers stole "The Scream" and another masterpiece by Norwegian artist Edvard Munch on Sunday in a bold daytime raid on an Oslo museum packed with terrified tourists.
Two masked robbers ran into the Munch Museum, threatened staff with a handgun and forced people to lie down before grabbing "The Scream," an icon of existentialist angst showing a waif-like figure against a blood-red sky, and "Madonna (news - web sites)."
Some stunned tourists said they feared they were victims of a terror attack. The men yanked the masterpieces from the wall, walked out the front door and escaped in a black Audi car driven by a third man who had been waiting outside, police said.
Worth millions of dollars, the pictures are among Munch's best-known even though he produced several similar versions of both. "Madonna" shows a mysterious bare-breasted woman with flowing black hair.
"We're following all possible leads ... but we don't know who did this," police detective chief inspector Kjell Pedersen told a news conference. One of the thieves spoke during the robbery -- in Norwegian.
The paintings were later cut from their frames which were found smashed and scattered in an Oslo street. The car was separately found abandoned a few km (miles) away.
Munch, a founder of modern expressionism who lived from 1863 to 1944, painted both works as part of a series about love, angst and death.
RANSOM?
Art experts speculated the thieves might demand a ransom because the works were too well known to be sold on the open market. But, Pedersen said: "We have heard nothing."
Police cordoned off the museum, informed Interpol and alerted airports and border crossings. No shots were fired but a female guard was treated for shock.
"I saw one of the men put a gun right behind a guard's head," said Richard Marcus, a 63-year-old Texas businessman visiting Oslo. "It took a long time for the police to come."
"Some people were lying on the floor; I don't know if they were forced to or were just scared," said Anna Leiherr, a 22-year-old German student.
Czech student Marketa Cajova said visitors feared the attackers were terrorists. "He had a black face mask," she told NRK radio.
Another and perhaps better known version of "The Scream" was stolen from Norway's National Gallery in a break-in in February 1994 on the opening day of the Winter Olympics (news - web sites) in Lillehammer.
The 1893 version of "The Scream" stolen Sunday is a fragile tempera and pastel on board. "It's impossible to say which is the best work," said Gunnar Soerensen, head of the Munch Museum. A third, less well-known, version is in private hands.
In 1994, the government refused to pay a ransom for "The Scream" and police caught the thieves and recovered the picture a few months later. Those thieves, including one who stole another Munch painting in 1988, are now out of jail.
One Norwegian art expert estimated "The Scream" stolen on Sunday would fetch $60-$75 million if legally sold at auction and "Madonna" $14.92 million.
In the foreground of "The Scream," on a road with railings, is a human figure with hands to the head, eyes staring, mouth agape. Further back are two men in top hats and behind them a landscape of fjord and hills in wavy lines against a red sky. ($1=6.701 Norwegian Crown)
By Alister Doyle and Inger Sethov
OSLO (Reuters) - Armed robbers stole "The Scream" and another masterpiece by Norwegian artist Edvard Munch on Sunday in a bold daytime raid on an Oslo museum packed with terrified tourists.
Two masked robbers ran into the Munch Museum, threatened staff with a handgun and forced people to lie down before grabbing "The Scream," an icon of existentialist angst showing a waif-like figure against a blood-red sky, and "Madonna (news - web sites)."
Some stunned tourists said they feared they were victims of a terror attack. The men yanked the masterpieces from the wall, walked out the front door and escaped in a black Audi car driven by a third man who had been waiting outside, police said.
Worth millions of dollars, the pictures are among Munch's best-known even though he produced several similar versions of both. "Madonna" shows a mysterious bare-breasted woman with flowing black hair.
"We're following all possible leads ... but we don't know who did this," police detective chief inspector Kjell Pedersen told a news conference. One of the thieves spoke during the robbery -- in Norwegian.
The paintings were later cut from their frames which were found smashed and scattered in an Oslo street. The car was separately found abandoned a few km (miles) away.
Munch, a founder of modern expressionism who lived from 1863 to 1944, painted both works as part of a series about love, angst and death.
RANSOM?
Art experts speculated the thieves might demand a ransom because the works were too well known to be sold on the open market. But, Pedersen said: "We have heard nothing."
Police cordoned off the museum, informed Interpol and alerted airports and border crossings. No shots were fired but a female guard was treated for shock.
"I saw one of the men put a gun right behind a guard's head," said Richard Marcus, a 63-year-old Texas businessman visiting Oslo. "It took a long time for the police to come."
"Some people were lying on the floor; I don't know if they were forced to or were just scared," said Anna Leiherr, a 22-year-old German student.
Czech student Marketa Cajova said visitors feared the attackers were terrorists. "He had a black face mask," she told NRK radio.
Another and perhaps better known version of "The Scream" was stolen from Norway's National Gallery in a break-in in February 1994 on the opening day of the Winter Olympics (news - web sites) in Lillehammer.
The 1893 version of "The Scream" stolen Sunday is a fragile tempera and pastel on board. "It's impossible to say which is the best work," said Gunnar Soerensen, head of the Munch Museum. A third, less well-known, version is in private hands.
In 1994, the government refused to pay a ransom for "The Scream" and police caught the thieves and recovered the picture a few months later. Those thieves, including one who stole another Munch painting in 1988, are now out of jail.
One Norwegian art expert estimated "The Scream" stolen on Sunday would fetch $60-$75 million if legally sold at auction and "Madonna" $14.92 million.
In the foreground of "The Scream," on a road with railings, is a human figure with hands to the head, eyes staring, mouth agape. Further back are two men in top hats and behind them a landscape of fjord and hills in wavy lines against a red sky. ($1=6.701 Norwegian Crown)
Monday, August 09, 2004
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Friday, June 25, 2004
I just got home from the theater. I was one of the last people to get a ticket today to see this movie before it opens nationwide. It's powerful, scary, manipulative, gripping, and if anything will prevent George W. Bush from getting re-elected, this movie will do it. Go see this movie. A sold out NYC audience broke out in tears, laughter, and applause. I am still angry that Bush has ties with oil, Bin Laden, and Saudi Arabia and that Cheney has ties with huge companies getting defense contracts for the United States. These men should not profit from what happened. Money over ethics. Makes me want to be a politician. Michael Moore should run for Senate!!!!!
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
AFI TOP MOVIE SONGS
AFI's 100 YEARS...100 SONGS
The American Film Institute (AFI) revealed the top movie songs of all time in AFI's 100 Years...In the venerated #1 spot was Judy Garland's soulful and iconic rendition of Over the Rainbow from the beloved family classic, THE WIZARD OF OZ.
Nabbing the rest of the top spots were classics of every kind-from timeless favorites of yesteryear to contemporary tunes-including As Time Goes By (CASABLANCA), Singin' In The Rain (SINGIN' IN THE RAIN), Moon River (BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S), White Christmas (HOLIDAY INN/WHITE CHRISTMAS), Mrs. Robinson (THE GRADUATE), When You Wish Upon a Star (PINOCCHIO), The Way We Were (THE WAY WE WERE), Stayin' Alive (SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER) and The Sound of Music (THE SOUND OF MUSIC).
The Honorees Are...
#
SONG
MOVIE
YEAR
1
Over the Rainbow
WIZARD OF OZ, THE
1939
2
As Time Goes By
CASABLANCA
1942
3
Singin' in the Rain
SINGIN' IN THE RAIN
1952
4
Moon River
BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S
1961
5
White Christmas
HOLIDAY INN
1942
6
Mrs. Robinson
GRADUATE, THE
1967
7
When You Wish Upon A Star
PINOCCHIO
1940
8
Way We Were, The
THE WAY WE WERE
1973
9
Stayin' Alive
SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER
1977
10
Sound of Music, The
SOUND OF MUSIC, THE
1965
11
Man That Got Away, The
STAR IS BORN, A
1954
12
Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend
GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES
1953
13
People
FUNNY GIRL
1968
14
My Heart Will Go On
TITANIC
1997
15
Cheek to Cheek
TOP HAT
1935
16
Evergreen (Love Theme from A Star is Born)
STAR IS BORN, A
1976
17
I Could Have Danced All Night
MY FAIR LADY
1964
18
Cabaret
CABARET
1972
19
Some Day My Prince Will Come
SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS
1937
20
Somewhere
WEST SIDE STORY
1961
21
Jailhouse Rock
JAILHOUSE ROCK
1957
22
Everybody's Talkin'
MIDNIGHT COWBOY
1969
23
Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head
BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID
1969
24
Ol' Man River
SHOW BOAT
1936
25
High Noon (Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darlin)
HIGH NOON
1952
26
Trolley Song, The
MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS
1944
27
Unchained Melody
GHOST
1990
28
Some Enchanted Evening
SOUTH PACIFIC
1958
29
Born To Be Wild
EASY RIDER
1969
30
Stormy Weather
STORMY WEATHER
1943
31
Theme from New York, New York
NEW YORK, NEW YORK
1977
32
I Got Rhythm
AMERICAN IN PARIS, AN
1951
33
Aquarius
HAIR
1979
34
Let's Call the Whole Thing Off
SHALL WE DANCE
1937
35
America
WEST SIDE STORY
1961
36
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
MARY POPPINS
1964
37
Swinging on a Star
GOING MY WAY
1944
38
Theme from Shaft
SHAFT
1971
39
Days of Wine and Roses
DAYS OF WINE AND ROSES
1963
40
Fight the Power
DO THE RIGHT THING
1989
41
New York, New York
ON THE TOWN
1949
42
Luck Be A Lady
GUYS AND DOLLS
1955
43
Way You Look Tonight, The
SWING TIME
1936
44
Wind Beneath My Wings
BEACHES
1988
45
That's Entertainment
BAND WAGON, THE
1953
46
Don't Rain On My Parade
FUNNY GIRL
1968
47
Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah
SONG OF THE SOUTH
1947
48
Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera)
MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH, THE
1956
49
Make 'Em Laugh
SINGIN' IN THE RAIN
1952
50
Rock Around the Clock
BLACKBOARD JUNGLE
1955
51
Fame
FAME
1980
52
Summertime
PORGY AND BESS
1959
53
Goldfinger
GOLDFINGER
1964
54
Shall We Dance
KING AND I, THE
1956
55
Flashdance...What a Feeling
FLASHDANCE
1983
56
Thank Heaven for Little Girls
GIGI
1958
57
Windmills of Your Mind, The
THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR, THE
1968
58
Gonna Fly Now
ROCKY
1976
59
Tonight
WEST SIDE STORY
1961
60
It Had to Be You
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
1989
61
Get Happy
SUMMER STOCK
1950
62
Beauty and the Beast
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
1991
63
Thanks for the Memory
BIG BROADCAST OF 1938, THE
1938
64
My Favorite Things
SOUND OF MUSIC, THE
1965
65
I Will Always Love You
BODYGUARD, THE
1992
66
Suicide is Painless
M*A*S*H
1970
67
Nobody Does it Better
SPY WHO LOVED ME, THE
1977
68
Streets of Philadelphia
PHILADELPHIA
1993
69
On the Good Ship Lollipop
BRIGHT EYES
1934
70
Summer Nights
GREASE
1978
71
Yankee Doodle Boy, The
YANKEE DOODLE DANDY
1942
72
Good Morning
SINGIN' IN THE RAIN
1952
73
Isn't it Romantic?
LOVE ME TONIGHT
1932
74
Rainbow Connection
MUPPET MOVIE, THE
1979
75
Up Where We Belong
OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN, AN
1982
76
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS
1944
77
Shadow of Your Smile, The
SANDPIPER, THE
1965
78
9 To 5
9 TO 5
1980
79
Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)
ARTHUR
1981
80
Springtime for Hitler
PRODUCERS, THE
1968
81
I'm Easy
NASHVILLE
1975
82
Ding Dong the Witch is Dead
WIZARD OF OZ, THE
1939
83
Rose, The
ROSE, THE
1979
84
Put the Blame on Mame
GILDA
1946
85
Come What May
MOULIN ROUGE!
2001
86
(I've Had) The Time of My Life
DIRTY DANCING
1987
87
Buttons and Bows
PALEFACE, THE
1948
88
Do Re Mi
SOUND OF MUSIC, THE
1965
89
Puttin' on the Ritz
YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
1974
90
Seems Like Old Times
ANNIE HALL
1977
91
Let the River Run
WORKING GIRL
1988
92
Long Ago and Far Away
COVER GIRL
1944
93
Lose Yourself
8 MILE
2002
94
Ain't Too Proud to Beg
BIG CHILL, THE
1983
95
(We're Off on the) Road to Morocco
ROAD TO MOROCCO
1942
96
Footloose
FOOTLOOSE
1984
97
42nd Street
42nd STREET
1933
98
All That Jazz
CHICAGO
2002
99
Hakuna Matata
LION KING, THE
1994
100
Old Time Rock and Roll
RISKY BUSINESS
1983
The American Film Institute (AFI) revealed the top movie songs of all time in AFI's 100 Years...In the venerated #1 spot was Judy Garland's soulful and iconic rendition of Over the Rainbow from the beloved family classic, THE WIZARD OF OZ.
Nabbing the rest of the top spots were classics of every kind-from timeless favorites of yesteryear to contemporary tunes-including As Time Goes By (CASABLANCA), Singin' In The Rain (SINGIN' IN THE RAIN), Moon River (BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S), White Christmas (HOLIDAY INN/WHITE CHRISTMAS), Mrs. Robinson (THE GRADUATE), When You Wish Upon a Star (PINOCCHIO), The Way We Were (THE WAY WE WERE), Stayin' Alive (SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER) and The Sound of Music (THE SOUND OF MUSIC).
The Honorees Are...
#
SONG
MOVIE
YEAR
1
Over the Rainbow
WIZARD OF OZ, THE
1939
2
As Time Goes By
CASABLANCA
1942
3
Singin' in the Rain
SINGIN' IN THE RAIN
1952
4
Moon River
BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S
1961
5
White Christmas
HOLIDAY INN
1942
6
Mrs. Robinson
GRADUATE, THE
1967
7
When You Wish Upon A Star
PINOCCHIO
1940
8
Way We Were, The
THE WAY WE WERE
1973
9
Stayin' Alive
SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER
1977
10
Sound of Music, The
SOUND OF MUSIC, THE
1965
11
Man That Got Away, The
STAR IS BORN, A
1954
12
Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend
GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES
1953
13
People
FUNNY GIRL
1968
14
My Heart Will Go On
TITANIC
1997
15
Cheek to Cheek
TOP HAT
1935
16
Evergreen (Love Theme from A Star is Born)
STAR IS BORN, A
1976
17
I Could Have Danced All Night
MY FAIR LADY
1964
18
Cabaret
CABARET
1972
19
Some Day My Prince Will Come
SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS
1937
20
Somewhere
WEST SIDE STORY
1961
21
Jailhouse Rock
JAILHOUSE ROCK
1957
22
Everybody's Talkin'
MIDNIGHT COWBOY
1969
23
Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head
BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID
1969
24
Ol' Man River
SHOW BOAT
1936
25
High Noon (Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darlin)
HIGH NOON
1952
26
Trolley Song, The
MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS
1944
27
Unchained Melody
GHOST
1990
28
Some Enchanted Evening
SOUTH PACIFIC
1958
29
Born To Be Wild
EASY RIDER
1969
30
Stormy Weather
STORMY WEATHER
1943
31
Theme from New York, New York
NEW YORK, NEW YORK
1977
32
I Got Rhythm
AMERICAN IN PARIS, AN
1951
33
Aquarius
HAIR
1979
34
Let's Call the Whole Thing Off
SHALL WE DANCE
1937
35
America
WEST SIDE STORY
1961
36
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
MARY POPPINS
1964
37
Swinging on a Star
GOING MY WAY
1944
38
Theme from Shaft
SHAFT
1971
39
Days of Wine and Roses
DAYS OF WINE AND ROSES
1963
40
Fight the Power
DO THE RIGHT THING
1989
41
New York, New York
ON THE TOWN
1949
42
Luck Be A Lady
GUYS AND DOLLS
1955
43
Way You Look Tonight, The
SWING TIME
1936
44
Wind Beneath My Wings
BEACHES
1988
45
That's Entertainment
BAND WAGON, THE
1953
46
Don't Rain On My Parade
FUNNY GIRL
1968
47
Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah
SONG OF THE SOUTH
1947
48
Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera)
MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH, THE
1956
49
Make 'Em Laugh
SINGIN' IN THE RAIN
1952
50
Rock Around the Clock
BLACKBOARD JUNGLE
1955
51
Fame
FAME
1980
52
Summertime
PORGY AND BESS
1959
53
Goldfinger
GOLDFINGER
1964
54
Shall We Dance
KING AND I, THE
1956
55
Flashdance...What a Feeling
FLASHDANCE
1983
56
Thank Heaven for Little Girls
GIGI
1958
57
Windmills of Your Mind, The
THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR, THE
1968
58
Gonna Fly Now
ROCKY
1976
59
Tonight
WEST SIDE STORY
1961
60
It Had to Be You
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
1989
61
Get Happy
SUMMER STOCK
1950
62
Beauty and the Beast
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
1991
63
Thanks for the Memory
BIG BROADCAST OF 1938, THE
1938
64
My Favorite Things
SOUND OF MUSIC, THE
1965
65
I Will Always Love You
BODYGUARD, THE
1992
66
Suicide is Painless
M*A*S*H
1970
67
Nobody Does it Better
SPY WHO LOVED ME, THE
1977
68
Streets of Philadelphia
PHILADELPHIA
1993
69
On the Good Ship Lollipop
BRIGHT EYES
1934
70
Summer Nights
GREASE
1978
71
Yankee Doodle Boy, The
YANKEE DOODLE DANDY
1942
72
Good Morning
SINGIN' IN THE RAIN
1952
73
Isn't it Romantic?
LOVE ME TONIGHT
1932
74
Rainbow Connection
MUPPET MOVIE, THE
1979
75
Up Where We Belong
OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN, AN
1982
76
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS
1944
77
Shadow of Your Smile, The
SANDPIPER, THE
1965
78
9 To 5
9 TO 5
1980
79
Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)
ARTHUR
1981
80
Springtime for Hitler
PRODUCERS, THE
1968
81
I'm Easy
NASHVILLE
1975
82
Ding Dong the Witch is Dead
WIZARD OF OZ, THE
1939
83
Rose, The
ROSE, THE
1979
84
Put the Blame on Mame
GILDA
1946
85
Come What May
MOULIN ROUGE!
2001
86
(I've Had) The Time of My Life
DIRTY DANCING
1987
87
Buttons and Bows
PALEFACE, THE
1948
88
Do Re Mi
SOUND OF MUSIC, THE
1965
89
Puttin' on the Ritz
YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
1974
90
Seems Like Old Times
ANNIE HALL
1977
91
Let the River Run
WORKING GIRL
1988
92
Long Ago and Far Away
COVER GIRL
1944
93
Lose Yourself
8 MILE
2002
94
Ain't Too Proud to Beg
BIG CHILL, THE
1983
95
(We're Off on the) Road to Morocco
ROAD TO MOROCCO
1942
96
Footloose
FOOTLOOSE
1984
97
42nd Street
42nd STREET
1933
98
All That Jazz
CHICAGO
2002
99
Hakuna Matata
LION KING, THE
1994
100
Old Time Rock and Roll
RISKY BUSINESS
1983
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Super Rich Can Afford Their Own Language
Sun Jun 20, 7:34 AM ET
By Ritu Kalra
NEW YORK (Reuters) - With the rich not only getting more numerous but richer by the year, a new language of "wealth-speak" has been created by bankers who are desperate to get a slice of their lucrative business.
Readers of the Eighth Annual World Wealth Report, published this week by investment bank Merrill Lynch & Co. (NYSE:MER - news) and consulting firm Capgemini, get full exposure to this euphemistic new-age language.
The word "millionaire" shows up only twice in the report -- in the footnotes. Instead, individuals with more than $1 million in financial assets, excluding their main home, are called HNWIs, or "high net worth individuals" by the authors, using a term coined by the banking industry.
"Ultra-HNWIs" are the super rich, defined as a small but rapidly growing group of 70,000 individuals with more than $30 million in assets. It was Merrill who pegged the "ultra" threshold at $30 million, a few years ago.
The report estimates there were 7.7 million millionaires around the world at the end of 2003, up by half a million from 2002.
The head of Capgemini's securities industry, Alvi Abuaf, in an interview noted intense competition among banks and asset managers to snag these clients and get access to a larger part of their wallets. However, the study isn't quite as straightforward.
It prefers to frame the question in terms of helping financial institutions "solve" the world's 7.7 million millionaires' "financial problems."
Fortunately, along with Sofia Chappuis and Robert Low, both managers at Capgemini who helped compile the data and write the report, Abuaf spent considerable time explaining the report to those who have never considered writing a "family mission statement."
The report, for example, suggests that financial advisors should target the HNWIs in their "lean years" for "cross-generational planning."
Translation, according to Capgemini: Some wealthy people have children. Those children might not have much to invest today, but, once they inherit their parents' money, they may be tomorrow's mega-millionaires and will make their bankers very happy. By any other name, the strategy is simply one of sales' basic tenets: start small, finish big.
A lot of the suggestions "are based on common sense," acknowledged Capgemini's Chappuis.
"Holistic reporting" and "dynamic re-valuation" are among the other ideas discussed in the study. These are not as revolutionary as they might sound. They mean putting all assets and liabilities in one report rather sending the information out piecemeal, and adjusting clients' financial portfolios as market conditions change.
The report says that even the reasonably wealthy are always looking to the treatment handed out to those with a few million more dollars above them in the pecking order.
The "mass affluent" -- those with $500,000 to $1 million -- want financial planning, a service offered only to HNWIs just five years ago, according to Abuaf. Those with between $1 and $5 million, meanwhile, want the red carpet usually saved for those with more.
Those whose art collections and oil wells put them in a category of their own expect "platinum treatment," once reserved for institutions. That could include offering sophisticated financial tools, such as those that measure a portfolio's risk in the face of market swings.
These ultra-HNWIs have, according to the Chappuis, "multi-jurisdictional needs." This might mean they have a villa in Tuscany and an apartment in London, as well as a mansion in Connecticut.
They get their own "Family Office," a team of professionals serving their accounts under a single umbrella (sometimes referred to as a "virtual network"). It's as cozy as it gets for the super wealthy -- the new aunts and uncles are tax accountants and trust and estate lawyers.
By Ritu Kalra
NEW YORK (Reuters) - With the rich not only getting more numerous but richer by the year, a new language of "wealth-speak" has been created by bankers who are desperate to get a slice of their lucrative business.
Readers of the Eighth Annual World Wealth Report, published this week by investment bank Merrill Lynch & Co. (NYSE:MER - news) and consulting firm Capgemini, get full exposure to this euphemistic new-age language.
The word "millionaire" shows up only twice in the report -- in the footnotes. Instead, individuals with more than $1 million in financial assets, excluding their main home, are called HNWIs, or "high net worth individuals" by the authors, using a term coined by the banking industry.
"Ultra-HNWIs" are the super rich, defined as a small but rapidly growing group of 70,000 individuals with more than $30 million in assets. It was Merrill who pegged the "ultra" threshold at $30 million, a few years ago.
The report estimates there were 7.7 million millionaires around the world at the end of 2003, up by half a million from 2002.
The head of Capgemini's securities industry, Alvi Abuaf, in an interview noted intense competition among banks and asset managers to snag these clients and get access to a larger part of their wallets. However, the study isn't quite as straightforward.
It prefers to frame the question in terms of helping financial institutions "solve" the world's 7.7 million millionaires' "financial problems."
Fortunately, along with Sofia Chappuis and Robert Low, both managers at Capgemini who helped compile the data and write the report, Abuaf spent considerable time explaining the report to those who have never considered writing a "family mission statement."
The report, for example, suggests that financial advisors should target the HNWIs in their "lean years" for "cross-generational planning."
Translation, according to Capgemini: Some wealthy people have children. Those children might not have much to invest today, but, once they inherit their parents' money, they may be tomorrow's mega-millionaires and will make their bankers very happy. By any other name, the strategy is simply one of sales' basic tenets: start small, finish big.
A lot of the suggestions "are based on common sense," acknowledged Capgemini's Chappuis.
"Holistic reporting" and "dynamic re-valuation" are among the other ideas discussed in the study. These are not as revolutionary as they might sound. They mean putting all assets and liabilities in one report rather sending the information out piecemeal, and adjusting clients' financial portfolios as market conditions change.
The report says that even the reasonably wealthy are always looking to the treatment handed out to those with a few million more dollars above them in the pecking order.
The "mass affluent" -- those with $500,000 to $1 million -- want financial planning, a service offered only to HNWIs just five years ago, according to Abuaf. Those with between $1 and $5 million, meanwhile, want the red carpet usually saved for those with more.
Those whose art collections and oil wells put them in a category of their own expect "platinum treatment," once reserved for institutions. That could include offering sophisticated financial tools, such as those that measure a portfolio's risk in the face of market swings.
These ultra-HNWIs have, according to the Chappuis, "multi-jurisdictional needs." This might mean they have a villa in Tuscany and an apartment in London, as well as a mansion in Connecticut.
They get their own "Family Office," a team of professionals serving their accounts under a single umbrella (sometimes referred to as a "virtual network"). It's as cozy as it gets for the super wealthy -- the new aunts and uncles are tax accountants and trust and estate lawyers.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Sunday, June 13, 2004
Saturday, June 12, 2004
funny joke
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up.
"Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."
Watson says, "I see millions of stars, and if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."
Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"
"Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."
Watson says, "I see millions of stars, and if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."
Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"
Self-esteem and self-loathing and hung-up, can't change
Self-esteem & self-loathing
& hungup, can't change
practical observations and strategies
for dealing with severe self-esteem issues
Self-Esteem
is the esteem one feels toward one's self. It is a fundamental attitude that one has toward one's self. It's a tough world, it's a tough life, and it's tough to know how to handle things sometimes. It's also a world of choices, feelings, thoughts and free will. Everybody gets to decide for him or herself how much esteem they are due.
It's a big problem when one's self-esteem is poor. When we don't like someone, it's not very likely we'd go out of our way to make them feel better. When we don't like ourselves, we don't make good choices.
Sometimes poor self-esteem can be very tenacious. Anyone undergoing abuse is vulnerable to adopting a poor self-esteem. And anyone with poor self-esteem is vulnerable to acting in an abusive fashion to themselves.
Poor self-esteem
can be caused by a variety of situations and experiences in life including being emotionally abused (either with or without physical or sexual abuse) and/or being traumatized by situations that it later seems we should have been able to do something about. Emotional abuse is basically anything told or done to us by someone else that makes us feel very powerless, very inadequate or very bad and which leaves us believing negative things about ourselves that are really not true. Being told that you might be too short at 5'1" to accomplish dreams of the NBA or WNBA may not be emotional abuse, whereas it may be emotional abuse to be laughed at and derided and told that you are stupid and silly to have such a wish.
Self-loathing is an extreme form of poor self-esteem. It is the sense of loathing one's self -- a common complaint from people with poor self-esteem. Many people who get to the extreme of self-loathing become self-defeating -- even self-sabotaging. This is the prize one wins if one can sustain a really poor self-esteem for long enough while being emotionally abusive to one's self.
Hung up, can't change?
"I'm hung-up -- I can't change," is the feeling one has when initially attacking poor self-esteem and a frequent complaint to therapists from people with very poor self-esteem. It is tough to change. There are many reasons for change being very anxiety provoking and difficult (for more infor and ideas about self-improvement hurdles, check out "Maximizing Self-Improvement Possibilities."
Here are some but not all of the problems that get in the way of self-esteem improvement efforts for those with very poor self-esteem:
Better this than the unknown. One very common reason for it being difficult to change a fundamental attitude about one's self is that one may have a belief or attitude that any change may well be for the worse -- "better the devil I know than a change to a devil I don't."
Any effort is damned before started. Another very common reason for it being difficult to change one's fundamental sense of negative self-esteem is that the individual harbors two very strong beliefs -- 1) that most of the decisions he or she makes are disasters, and 2) that he or she cannot trust anyone enough to make such decisions instead.
Eeek! If I feel better, people will expect more and I won't be able to deliver. Another very common reason is that one harbors an inner fear that he or she will be overloaded by responsibility if he or she has a better self-esteem -- that people will expect more.
I'll be lazy and bad with a good self-esteem. Still another very common and very powerful reason for it to be very difficult to change one's attitude about one's self is the conscious or unconscious belief that it is a negative self-esteem that keeps the individual from being slothful or careless or more of a screw-up. This is an adopted attitude that is based on the distorted logic that whipping one's self with criticism and derision is helpful and that without it things would be worse. Ironically, almost anyone with this belief would never believe this was the case with anyone else -- just themselves.
I will have to give up support. And still another reason for it being tough to change a negative self-esteem is the twisted logic that leads the individual to feel that if he or she feels better about him- or herself, all social support will be withdrawn. This is not logical because in the first place most people with poor self-esteem get very poor support -- though they get the idea that their poor self-esteem is why people feel sorry for them and nurture them. This is also not logical because it hinges on the belief that if self-esteem is good, self-supportiveness won't be worth much (which is a circular argument).
~ Practically Changing ~
Here are some practical strategies for a more practical and positive self-esteem. This list is certainly not all-inclusive. Change is a frightening prospect, no matter how attractive a prospect it also seems. Getting one's self to change is only a little less easy than tickling yourself or picking yourself up in the air. Use these in a spirit of self-care and long-term self-interest.
The Nedlog Rule
Do Unto Self What You Would Do Unto Others
(A Guideline for Decisions)
Ironically, many people with very poor self-esteems treat themselves in the same abusive ways that abusive others had treated them in the past. Most would never treat anyone else that way. If you ask, "Is it okay to verbally harrass yourself?" they say, "Yes!" But when you ask if it would be okay to do the same thing to a child they know or to a friend, their response is a clear, "NO WAY!"
Life can mess with you sometimes to the extent that you can simply have a problem of excessive harshness in how you see yourself and how you decide to react to your weaknesses. This is something like the "body disortion" that individuals with anorexia experience (individuals near starving with anorexia can look in a mirror and see a fat person). People with very poor self-esteems sometimes simply have to understand that -- when it comes to self -- they don't have good judgement about what is appropriate in terms of expectations and goals, cause for reward, cause for punishment and what would be appropriate levels of displayed anger and rage.
The proof of this and the fix of this is in asking a simple question to measure one's judgements: Do you treat yourself in the same way you would a child or a friend? Do you encourage yourself like you would a child or a friend? Do you coach yourself after failures and successes the way you would a child or a friend? As your own boss and your own employee, do you treat yourself like a good boss would, like a good employee would?
If the answer to any of those questions is "no," then the question is "why?" Why shouldn't you treat yourself in the way you know you should treat others?
Identifying the presence of such a mental soft-spot is not the same as avoiding it. It's very hard to adjust one's attitude toward self. Catching yourself and correcting yourself on the basis of this guideline is a strategy that will help. The Nedlog Rule is "Do Unto Self What You Would Do Unto Others."
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
How Can I Make Friends with Y'all?
You work for yourself. You're your own boss. When there's been hard feelings and disputes in the work place, a boss and an employee can get very negative about each other. When such a thing happens, it is best for everyone that either there is separation (one quits or fires the other) or they work it out. If separation isn't feasable, the only practical recourse is to make peace. A face to face is helpful -- a daily face to face contact, reassuring each other that both really are working on this and trying to have positive feelings about the other. In the self-esteem rehabilitation game this translates to work in the mirror -- eyeball to eyeball with yourself. Start with being civil and apologizing to the person you're looking at for being such a crappy person to work with and pledge to try to do much better.
This can be very helpful in giving a boost to your relationship with yourself. If you have considerable difficulty doing this, you should probably discuss this with a counselor.
Do the Math
Mistakes vs. Failures
Another common glitch in life is that we tend to see what we expect to see and disregard the rest. It may be that many people underestimate their numbers of successes versus their numbers of mistakes. It seems our brains are structured to pay more attention to things that go wrong than things that go right. But for individuals with very poor self-esteem this can mean routinely discounting successes as no big deal or nothing to get cocky about while carefully remembering every mistake and emotionally abusing one's self for each and every one -- and generally feeling like a major idiot-loser all the time. This is a terrible mind-twister and can result in a great deal of confusion about who to trust, what feelings to trust and what potential there is for successes and accomplishments. This can result in not bothering to use one's own thinking ability. This can contribute to a twisted state of mind that is accepting of abuse from others and mistrustful of anyone who is not abusive.
Not taking proper credit for successes and abusing one's self when mistakes are made may a cart or a horse -- a cause or a consequence (e.g., you over-estimate failures and discount successes because you have poor self-esteem, or you have poor self-esteem because you overestimate failures and discount success). Either way it is important to stop thinking practices that distort reality. There is a way to start stopping such distortions.
Ask yourself this question: how many mistakes do I make versus how many failures -- consider the last week or month as an example. Whatever numbers you come up with, ask yourself if you credited yourself for every step, every correction when driving, every forkful of food, every time you made a deposit at your bank, every time you made yourself something to eat. If your reaction to this last question is to suggest that these are silly things to count, then ask yourself if you would have counted any of these things if you had made an error. Probably you would have. It would have been on your "I'm so stupid" list if you had tripped and broke your wrist, if you had driven off the road or driven over a pedestrian, if you had stuck a forkful of food into your eye, if you had lost your paycheck on the way to deposit it, or if you had poisoned yourself or gave yourself food poisoning. Right?
Here's the fact: if you discount successes and only count mistakes, it's likely (duh) that it will seem like you make a lot of mistakes. If you are still breathing and they let you walk around without a keeper, your success rate is probably millions of successes to every ten of mistakes. It may feel like you make more mistakes, but if feelings aren't reliable. Do the math.
Proud is allow.
A somewhat similar issue to the issue of not acknowledging your successes is the issue of allowing yourself to be proud of attributes, successes, etc. Many people -- especially those raised in abusive environments -- get the impression that it's not a good idea to be proud of yourself. This is not true. It is as important to acknowledge your positive attributes and successes to yourself as it is to acknowledge them in a friend or child. We all operate on the basis of rewards -- what doesn't get rewarded may not continue to happen. Taking pride in one's self, feeling good about successes, is important to positive growth and development. THIS DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO GLOAT OR RUB OTHER'S NOSES IN YOUR SUCCESSES AND ABILITIES -- that's definately a bad idea as it causes resentments and other interpersonal problems that no one needs. It means you can be proud of yourself and happy with yourself -- it makes good psychological sense.
Do the Math
How Well Do You Compare?
How do you decide how handsome or pretty you are? This is a complicated task at best. For people with very poor self-esteems, the distorted thinking that comes from and/or results in very poor self-esteem also makes it likely that the individual feels like some sort of toad -- which enters into the viscious cycle. Looks shouldn't be as important as what's inside, but for the sake of "every little bit helps," here's a great exercise to determine pretty much your looks ranking in an almost objective, subjective way:
Go to a large shopping mall at a high-traffic time and sit somewhere out of the way with a pencil and a little notepad with a line drawn down the middle. As people go by take special notice of everyone in your gender and age-group, ask yourself if you would want -- if you could -- to trade your entire body with that individual. (The entire body -- not just this one's eyes, and that one's butt.) Note yes answers on one side of the page and no answers on the others. After you get 100, see what your percentage is then round to the nearest 10%. The result is how you really rank -- by your own standards. If you have seen 30 people you'd trade for and 70 you wouldn't, you're a 7 on a scale from 1 to 10.
Accepting Accepting Reality
A basic fact of life is that things work out a lot better when you pay attention and accept the way things are. This doesn't mean that you have to accept the way things seem. (You have to accept that things seem the way the seem -- yes. But that doesn't mean you accept the way things seem as fact.) Things work better if you have an accurate sense of your self and a good self-esteem. You may be shorter than you wanted, funnier looking or closer to retarded than you wanted, but the best you can do is the best you can do and that has to be good enough.
A frequent problem I confront as a therapist working with individuals asking for help with their self-esteems is that they don't want to accept that they haven't got much choice about some of the more difficult realities in their lives. Often this means they think they need someone to like them better or they need more intelligence. In one case the young woman insisted she needed to be at least 6" taller.
Here's the trick: Accept that you have to accept the cards you were dealt. You may be able to strategize how you play them or even change how you look at them but in the game of life you sometimes get dealt some tough to play cards -- but no matter how much you hate them, your cards are your cards.
Re-Write and Re-Right Reality
Having pointed out that you get dealt certain cards and have to play them, it is important to understand that you can sometimes re-write reality and re-right what seems toppled.
Most people are raised and educated with a lot of emphasis on the ability to see what is wrong with a given picture. Many are not educated to be able to see what is right. A frequently told Buddhist parable tells of several blind men who come across an elephant in the jungle. One says it is a boulder suspended over the path. One insists it is a pillar, not suspended in the air at all. One says it is a tube, flexible and cylindrical and suspended in air. The punch-line to this parable is the we do not see the fullness of reality, we see a part of it -- and that from different perspectives, reality is different.
Here is the trick: Recognize that there are different ways to look at things. Realize that you tend to bump into elephants from the same perspective, characterologically, but that you can change perspective and see things in a different way, just as "real." Understand that you can change your perspective and therefor your reality and that from some perspectives you are more likely to be happy and safe than from others. Resolve that you are going to practice trying to look at things in a variety of ways and pick your reality.
Behavior Mod for Fun and Profit
Behavior modification techniques are powerful and effective. There are only three basic behavior modification techniques: REWARD, PUNISHMENT and IGNORING (ignoring is called "extinction" among psychologists). Reward a behavior and it is more likely to happen again. Punish a behavior and if you do it right, it's not as likely to happen again. Ignore a behavior and it will tend not to happen again.
We all get raised with these principles. People with very poor self-esteems tend to use these principles in some counter-productive ways. They ignore sucesses, they very seldom feel that a positive behavior was worth a reward and they tend to punish self-awareness (thinking they're punishing a mistake). Individuals with very poor self-esteem can undermine their own growth and learning opportunities by acting as if small steps -- partial successes -- toward a goal are not valuable enough to reward and by either ignoring them or even punish them for not being "good enough" as only partial accomplishments. These individuals, when they do make a mistake, tend to over-punish (by derision or self-sabotage) which diminishes self-esteem and subverts learning and often begins a cycle of more punishment. An individual with very poor self-esteem may even avoid opportunities for success because of the difficulty dealing with successes and failures.
What to do: Work on being smarter about rewards, punishments and ignoring. When something goes a little well, it should be rewarded -- reward any step towards a goal and you're more likely to get to the goal. Ignore partial successes and reduce the possibility of full success. Avoid severe self-directed anger, derisive statements ("you stupid #@#!") and self sabotage as a "behavior mod" strategy unless you are trying to drive yourself to self-mutilation or suicide. When you make a mistake, kick yourself in the butt once and then pat yourself on the back for noticing that you made a mistake. Work on being able to tolerate the yuckiness of guilt feelings without saying negative things to yourself -- the yuck feelings are pretty much all the kick in the butt anyone ever needs and more (see below).
Guilt to Get Smarter vs. Guilt to Get Dumb
Being Responsible
Guilt feelings are natural reactions to bad things happening, whether it was your fault or not. Guilt is a rehearsal-debriefing process that our brains put us through so we learn from disasters. What you learn is based on what you say to yourself as the yuck feelings go through you. Telling yourself over and over "I'm so stupid," or "I'm so worthless," for example, is the same as memorizing that your brain shouldn't bother to think. Telling yourself over and over again that "It was so stupid of me to do that particular thing," on the other hand, sets up an alarm in your brain that alerts you with anxiousness the next time you begin to repeat your mistake.
What to do: Watch your self-statements and make sure you are burning into your brain the appropriate message. (For more on guilt, see Guilt for Better or Worse.)
Be Okay With Not Being a God
Basic logic can take some strange turns in the minds of individuals with very poor self-esteem, as noted above several times. Another strange twist of logic can sometimes lead to the distressing demand on self that, short of omniscience and omnipotence (all knowing and all powerful), nothing is good enough when it comes to one's own performance in life. This is an extremely silly thing to do to one's self and it often takes someone else pointing it out.
Watch What You Say.
Self talk is as potentially damaging or encouraging as any talk you talk to anyone else. Most people don't realize it but it's true: the things you say to yourself can have the same effect as the things someone else close to you says. You can believe put downs, discouragements and finalities. If you tell yourself you're an idiot, it has the same effect as if you tell a child she is an idiot. If you tell yourself that you can't possibly succeed it has the same effect as it would if you told a friend the same thing. When you pronounce something a failure forever ("you can't do that" vs. "you haven't been able to do that yet"), you tend to believe it that way.
What to do: Don't speak to yourself (silently or out loud) with any less respect or care than you would for a child or a friend.
Shoulder the Burden of Doing Your Best
Doing your best sometimes isn't enough to avoid the problems in life, but when you do your best, its the best you can do. Many people with very poor self-esteem avoid doing their best because they're pretty sure they will fail and they can't tolerate thinking of failing and having to admit they tried their hardest. Many of these folks can't accept that their best is their best and that it's okay to try even if you fail.
What to do: Do your best and critique yourself (ask yourself if you could do better) and accept that your best is the best you can do.
Being Perfectly Imperfect
What's wrong with being imperfect? Perfect wouldn't be perfect, would it? How many friends or opportunities would come your way if you never goofed up, never did something worthy of embarrassment and never said anything wrong? In case you really don't know, the number would be close to zero. Nobody likes somebody like that -- somebody "perfect" would make everyone feel terribly flawed. So perfect is actually imperfect. If you are imperfect with pleanty to improve and a motivation to steadily improve yourself, you're probably as perfect as possible. This is a much more reasonable definition and it makes it possible to actually work on being "perfectly imperfect."
Have a Little Faith
Many people seem to be comforted by the belief that if they are good little boys and girls, nothing bad will happen and God will provide them a DisneyWorld life -- and that if anything bad happens, it is Divine Punishment. (Note comments from two religious leaders that 9-11 was because so many Americans are gay and over-sexed.) This flies in the face of a huge amount of data that must be very difficult to avoid noticing. A recent estimate is that one out of one hundred of our children are being sexually exploited (pictures, films, etc.). It is also estimated that one out of four girls and one out of five boys has experienced a sexual assault by age 18. I personally work with a client load that at any given time includes at least six or eight clients who are struggling with the effects of being regularly raped by age 6. There are millions of examples that fly in the face of the theory that if you're good nothing bad happens and only if your bad does something bad happen. Also flying in the face of this idea is the evidence of all the thoroughly awful people who live lives of splendor.
It requires a ridiculously huge amount of mental energy to try to hang onto the delusion that this life is fair and for those that try to and then have that idea shattered, their whole existence seems to shatter.
Very poor self-esteem can be the direct consequence of trauma and tragedy or prolonged periods of anxiousness and stress when the individual contending with these things believes that life is basically fair. Many individuals with very poor self-esteem -- especially survivors of childhood abuse -- harbor the idea that they must deserve whatever hurt and abuse they may have suffered in life because it is an idea that was sustaining to them during prolonged periods of trauma. The idea can be sustaining because it seems to give hope of making amends through endurance of pain and terror. The alternative idea -- that no one will protect and that life is chaotic, dangerous and unfair -- is actually more devistating to children and some adults than the idea that abuse is deserved. Unfortunately, once the idea is adopted it can live beyond the time of abuse and cause repeated self-sabotaging behaviors until the idea is given up.
What to do: Drop the silly idea that we -- or just you -- live under the supervision of a God that makes life constant fun for the deserving and punishes the undeserving relentlessly. Look into almost any religious teachings and you can find all manner of support for the idea that the rewards of a good life are in the next life. Examine your own life and the lives of those around you and in the news and ask yourself if the purpose of this life might not be to learn to conquer our fears and sustain our Faith in the face of adversity. There is much more evidence of that than evidence of life being fair.
Assume the whatever Higher Power you believe in made you as smart as you need to be and will provide you the guidance you will need and that you aren't supposed to understand why things happen, you're only supposed to have Faith that there is a Plan and a Purpose for your life. If you don't believe in a Higher Power, then at least believe there is nothing saying you "deserve" any trouble you can avoid.
Take a Risk
It is important to understand that fears are just feelings and that if indulged, they worsen and if faced, they diminsh. Individuals with very poor self-esteem can become anxious about trying anything new. This can be due to a variety of fears or attitudes, many noted above. In spite of long histories of dealing with failures and terrors, one can tend to focus on not wanting to go through anything hurtful again and basically forget that one is a survivor and can at least count on that.
What can work: Listen for your breathing. If you are breathing, that means you've survived everything that's ever happened. Remind yourself that you're a survivor. Empower yourself by reminding yourself that you can have faith in yourself at least to the extent that you can survive. Don't expect this to be easy or for anxiousness to fade fast -- just expect to survive.
The Tortoise and the Hare
Slow Down, You Move Too Fast
Pretty much every individual with very poor self-esteem that I've worked with wanted things changed yesterday. Any pace seemed too slow. Sometimes they put every effort in for a brief period and then become frustrated and quit self-improvement efforts prematurely. Sometimes they seem to want everything so fast because they're scared of the idea of a change and want it done and over before they can notice. Often they disrespect their own anxieties on the one hand while listening carefully to them on the other. Improving self-esteem can seem impossible, frustrating and/or way too slow.
Alien: Resurrection, 1997.
Cole (with sadness): Why do you go on living? How can you stand being what you are?
Ripley: Not much choice.
How to optimize efforts: Remember the story of tortoise and the hare -- slow but steady wins the race. Let yourself respect your own fears and push through them slowly, letting yourself make changes at your own pace.
You Are Here
Gotta Start Where You Are
Whereever you're at, that's where you have to start. Many individuals with very poor self-esteems find it almost intolerable to think about their situation in detail -- what attitudes and behaviors they need to work on. This can cause some problems getting anywhere -- along the lines of being in Utah and needing to get to Kansas, but not wanting to admit to yourself that you're in Utah. It makes a practical route difficult to decide on.
Fix: Give yourself permission to look at and accept where you are starting from.
Do it yourself.
One of the toughest of the illogical thinking loops that individuals with very poor self-esteem can get into is the quest for someone to trust better than themselves to take over and fix their lives. This is a very tough problem because most people with very poor self-esteem have earned a healthy distrust of others -- though they may think this is not healthy. Also, it gets more complicated because they may tend to define being able to trust someone as being 100% sure that that person will be 100% capable and knowledgeable and 100% looking out for their interests. (For more information and ideas about trusting others, see "Trust Issues with Self and Others.") Thus, without ever really pinpointing or recognizing the problem, they don't trust their own judgement so they look for someone they trust enough to tell them what to do about not trusting themselves or anyone else -- but they don't trust themselves to decide who to trust and they wouldn't be able to trust someone else that much anyway. So they won't trust anyone until they find someone they can trust to tell them who to trust.
It is often almost devistatingly frightening to tell an individual with a very poor self-esteem that relying on themselves -- with input from others if they wish -- to make big decisions is probably the best they can do as far as finding someone to rely on. A frequent first reaction is panic to think that everyone is pretty much flawed and no more trustable than they themselves.
What to do: Decide you better put yourself in somebody's hands and just go with it. I generally recommend to people that they chose themselves. As flawed as they themselves might be, it's usually the best choice because everyone else is flawed too. And when the panic about that comes up then it's a good idea to soothe it down either with Faith in a Higher Power or faith that no matter what happens it will all be over in a matter of years or less.
& hungup, can't change
practical observations and strategies
for dealing with severe self-esteem issues
Self-Esteem
is the esteem one feels toward one's self. It is a fundamental attitude that one has toward one's self. It's a tough world, it's a tough life, and it's tough to know how to handle things sometimes. It's also a world of choices, feelings, thoughts and free will. Everybody gets to decide for him or herself how much esteem they are due.
It's a big problem when one's self-esteem is poor. When we don't like someone, it's not very likely we'd go out of our way to make them feel better. When we don't like ourselves, we don't make good choices.
Sometimes poor self-esteem can be very tenacious. Anyone undergoing abuse is vulnerable to adopting a poor self-esteem. And anyone with poor self-esteem is vulnerable to acting in an abusive fashion to themselves.
Poor self-esteem
can be caused by a variety of situations and experiences in life including being emotionally abused (either with or without physical or sexual abuse) and/or being traumatized by situations that it later seems we should have been able to do something about. Emotional abuse is basically anything told or done to us by someone else that makes us feel very powerless, very inadequate or very bad and which leaves us believing negative things about ourselves that are really not true. Being told that you might be too short at 5'1" to accomplish dreams of the NBA or WNBA may not be emotional abuse, whereas it may be emotional abuse to be laughed at and derided and told that you are stupid and silly to have such a wish.
Self-loathing is an extreme form of poor self-esteem. It is the sense of loathing one's self -- a common complaint from people with poor self-esteem. Many people who get to the extreme of self-loathing become self-defeating -- even self-sabotaging. This is the prize one wins if one can sustain a really poor self-esteem for long enough while being emotionally abusive to one's self.
Hung up, can't change?
"I'm hung-up -- I can't change," is the feeling one has when initially attacking poor self-esteem and a frequent complaint to therapists from people with very poor self-esteem. It is tough to change. There are many reasons for change being very anxiety provoking and difficult (for more infor and ideas about self-improvement hurdles, check out "Maximizing Self-Improvement Possibilities."
Here are some but not all of the problems that get in the way of self-esteem improvement efforts for those with very poor self-esteem:
Better this than the unknown. One very common reason for it being difficult to change a fundamental attitude about one's self is that one may have a belief or attitude that any change may well be for the worse -- "better the devil I know than a change to a devil I don't."
Any effort is damned before started. Another very common reason for it being difficult to change one's fundamental sense of negative self-esteem is that the individual harbors two very strong beliefs -- 1) that most of the decisions he or she makes are disasters, and 2) that he or she cannot trust anyone enough to make such decisions instead.
Eeek! If I feel better, people will expect more and I won't be able to deliver. Another very common reason is that one harbors an inner fear that he or she will be overloaded by responsibility if he or she has a better self-esteem -- that people will expect more.
I'll be lazy and bad with a good self-esteem. Still another very common and very powerful reason for it to be very difficult to change one's attitude about one's self is the conscious or unconscious belief that it is a negative self-esteem that keeps the individual from being slothful or careless or more of a screw-up. This is an adopted attitude that is based on the distorted logic that whipping one's self with criticism and derision is helpful and that without it things would be worse. Ironically, almost anyone with this belief would never believe this was the case with anyone else -- just themselves.
I will have to give up support. And still another reason for it being tough to change a negative self-esteem is the twisted logic that leads the individual to feel that if he or she feels better about him- or herself, all social support will be withdrawn. This is not logical because in the first place most people with poor self-esteem get very poor support -- though they get the idea that their poor self-esteem is why people feel sorry for them and nurture them. This is also not logical because it hinges on the belief that if self-esteem is good, self-supportiveness won't be worth much (which is a circular argument).
~ Practically Changing ~
Here are some practical strategies for a more practical and positive self-esteem. This list is certainly not all-inclusive. Change is a frightening prospect, no matter how attractive a prospect it also seems. Getting one's self to change is only a little less easy than tickling yourself or picking yourself up in the air. Use these in a spirit of self-care and long-term self-interest.
The Nedlog Rule
Do Unto Self What You Would Do Unto Others
(A Guideline for Decisions)
Ironically, many people with very poor self-esteems treat themselves in the same abusive ways that abusive others had treated them in the past. Most would never treat anyone else that way. If you ask, "Is it okay to verbally harrass yourself?" they say, "Yes!" But when you ask if it would be okay to do the same thing to a child they know or to a friend, their response is a clear, "NO WAY!"
Life can mess with you sometimes to the extent that you can simply have a problem of excessive harshness in how you see yourself and how you decide to react to your weaknesses. This is something like the "body disortion" that individuals with anorexia experience (individuals near starving with anorexia can look in a mirror and see a fat person). People with very poor self-esteems sometimes simply have to understand that -- when it comes to self -- they don't have good judgement about what is appropriate in terms of expectations and goals, cause for reward, cause for punishment and what would be appropriate levels of displayed anger and rage.
The proof of this and the fix of this is in asking a simple question to measure one's judgements: Do you treat yourself in the same way you would a child or a friend? Do you encourage yourself like you would a child or a friend? Do you coach yourself after failures and successes the way you would a child or a friend? As your own boss and your own employee, do you treat yourself like a good boss would, like a good employee would?
If the answer to any of those questions is "no," then the question is "why?" Why shouldn't you treat yourself in the way you know you should treat others?
Identifying the presence of such a mental soft-spot is not the same as avoiding it. It's very hard to adjust one's attitude toward self. Catching yourself and correcting yourself on the basis of this guideline is a strategy that will help. The Nedlog Rule is "Do Unto Self What You Would Do Unto Others."
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
How Can I Make Friends with Y'all?
You work for yourself. You're your own boss. When there's been hard feelings and disputes in the work place, a boss and an employee can get very negative about each other. When such a thing happens, it is best for everyone that either there is separation (one quits or fires the other) or they work it out. If separation isn't feasable, the only practical recourse is to make peace. A face to face is helpful -- a daily face to face contact, reassuring each other that both really are working on this and trying to have positive feelings about the other. In the self-esteem rehabilitation game this translates to work in the mirror -- eyeball to eyeball with yourself. Start with being civil and apologizing to the person you're looking at for being such a crappy person to work with and pledge to try to do much better.
This can be very helpful in giving a boost to your relationship with yourself. If you have considerable difficulty doing this, you should probably discuss this with a counselor.
Do the Math
Mistakes vs. Failures
Another common glitch in life is that we tend to see what we expect to see and disregard the rest. It may be that many people underestimate their numbers of successes versus their numbers of mistakes. It seems our brains are structured to pay more attention to things that go wrong than things that go right. But for individuals with very poor self-esteem this can mean routinely discounting successes as no big deal or nothing to get cocky about while carefully remembering every mistake and emotionally abusing one's self for each and every one -- and generally feeling like a major idiot-loser all the time. This is a terrible mind-twister and can result in a great deal of confusion about who to trust, what feelings to trust and what potential there is for successes and accomplishments. This can result in not bothering to use one's own thinking ability. This can contribute to a twisted state of mind that is accepting of abuse from others and mistrustful of anyone who is not abusive.
Not taking proper credit for successes and abusing one's self when mistakes are made may a cart or a horse -- a cause or a consequence (e.g., you over-estimate failures and discount successes because you have poor self-esteem, or you have poor self-esteem because you overestimate failures and discount success). Either way it is important to stop thinking practices that distort reality. There is a way to start stopping such distortions.
Ask yourself this question: how many mistakes do I make versus how many failures -- consider the last week or month as an example. Whatever numbers you come up with, ask yourself if you credited yourself for every step, every correction when driving, every forkful of food, every time you made a deposit at your bank, every time you made yourself something to eat. If your reaction to this last question is to suggest that these are silly things to count, then ask yourself if you would have counted any of these things if you had made an error. Probably you would have. It would have been on your "I'm so stupid" list if you had tripped and broke your wrist, if you had driven off the road or driven over a pedestrian, if you had stuck a forkful of food into your eye, if you had lost your paycheck on the way to deposit it, or if you had poisoned yourself or gave yourself food poisoning. Right?
Here's the fact: if you discount successes and only count mistakes, it's likely (duh) that it will seem like you make a lot of mistakes. If you are still breathing and they let you walk around without a keeper, your success rate is probably millions of successes to every ten of mistakes. It may feel like you make more mistakes, but if feelings aren't reliable. Do the math.
Proud is allow.
A somewhat similar issue to the issue of not acknowledging your successes is the issue of allowing yourself to be proud of attributes, successes, etc. Many people -- especially those raised in abusive environments -- get the impression that it's not a good idea to be proud of yourself. This is not true. It is as important to acknowledge your positive attributes and successes to yourself as it is to acknowledge them in a friend or child. We all operate on the basis of rewards -- what doesn't get rewarded may not continue to happen. Taking pride in one's self, feeling good about successes, is important to positive growth and development. THIS DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO GLOAT OR RUB OTHER'S NOSES IN YOUR SUCCESSES AND ABILITIES -- that's definately a bad idea as it causes resentments and other interpersonal problems that no one needs. It means you can be proud of yourself and happy with yourself -- it makes good psychological sense.
Do the Math
How Well Do You Compare?
How do you decide how handsome or pretty you are? This is a complicated task at best. For people with very poor self-esteems, the distorted thinking that comes from and/or results in very poor self-esteem also makes it likely that the individual feels like some sort of toad -- which enters into the viscious cycle. Looks shouldn't be as important as what's inside, but for the sake of "every little bit helps," here's a great exercise to determine pretty much your looks ranking in an almost objective, subjective way:
Go to a large shopping mall at a high-traffic time and sit somewhere out of the way with a pencil and a little notepad with a line drawn down the middle. As people go by take special notice of everyone in your gender and age-group, ask yourself if you would want -- if you could -- to trade your entire body with that individual. (The entire body -- not just this one's eyes, and that one's butt.) Note yes answers on one side of the page and no answers on the others. After you get 100, see what your percentage is then round to the nearest 10%. The result is how you really rank -- by your own standards. If you have seen 30 people you'd trade for and 70 you wouldn't, you're a 7 on a scale from 1 to 10.
Accepting Accepting Reality
A basic fact of life is that things work out a lot better when you pay attention and accept the way things are. This doesn't mean that you have to accept the way things seem. (You have to accept that things seem the way the seem -- yes. But that doesn't mean you accept the way things seem as fact.) Things work better if you have an accurate sense of your self and a good self-esteem. You may be shorter than you wanted, funnier looking or closer to retarded than you wanted, but the best you can do is the best you can do and that has to be good enough.
A frequent problem I confront as a therapist working with individuals asking for help with their self-esteems is that they don't want to accept that they haven't got much choice about some of the more difficult realities in their lives. Often this means they think they need someone to like them better or they need more intelligence. In one case the young woman insisted she needed to be at least 6" taller.
Here's the trick: Accept that you have to accept the cards you were dealt. You may be able to strategize how you play them or even change how you look at them but in the game of life you sometimes get dealt some tough to play cards -- but no matter how much you hate them, your cards are your cards.
Re-Write and Re-Right Reality
Having pointed out that you get dealt certain cards and have to play them, it is important to understand that you can sometimes re-write reality and re-right what seems toppled.
Most people are raised and educated with a lot of emphasis on the ability to see what is wrong with a given picture. Many are not educated to be able to see what is right. A frequently told Buddhist parable tells of several blind men who come across an elephant in the jungle. One says it is a boulder suspended over the path. One insists it is a pillar, not suspended in the air at all. One says it is a tube, flexible and cylindrical and suspended in air. The punch-line to this parable is the we do not see the fullness of reality, we see a part of it -- and that from different perspectives, reality is different.
Here is the trick: Recognize that there are different ways to look at things. Realize that you tend to bump into elephants from the same perspective, characterologically, but that you can change perspective and see things in a different way, just as "real." Understand that you can change your perspective and therefor your reality and that from some perspectives you are more likely to be happy and safe than from others. Resolve that you are going to practice trying to look at things in a variety of ways and pick your reality.
Behavior Mod for Fun and Profit
Behavior modification techniques are powerful and effective. There are only three basic behavior modification techniques: REWARD, PUNISHMENT and IGNORING (ignoring is called "extinction" among psychologists). Reward a behavior and it is more likely to happen again. Punish a behavior and if you do it right, it's not as likely to happen again. Ignore a behavior and it will tend not to happen again.
We all get raised with these principles. People with very poor self-esteems tend to use these principles in some counter-productive ways. They ignore sucesses, they very seldom feel that a positive behavior was worth a reward and they tend to punish self-awareness (thinking they're punishing a mistake). Individuals with very poor self-esteem can undermine their own growth and learning opportunities by acting as if small steps -- partial successes -- toward a goal are not valuable enough to reward and by either ignoring them or even punish them for not being "good enough" as only partial accomplishments. These individuals, when they do make a mistake, tend to over-punish (by derision or self-sabotage) which diminishes self-esteem and subverts learning and often begins a cycle of more punishment. An individual with very poor self-esteem may even avoid opportunities for success because of the difficulty dealing with successes and failures.
What to do: Work on being smarter about rewards, punishments and ignoring. When something goes a little well, it should be rewarded -- reward any step towards a goal and you're more likely to get to the goal. Ignore partial successes and reduce the possibility of full success. Avoid severe self-directed anger, derisive statements ("you stupid #@#!") and self sabotage as a "behavior mod" strategy unless you are trying to drive yourself to self-mutilation or suicide. When you make a mistake, kick yourself in the butt once and then pat yourself on the back for noticing that you made a mistake. Work on being able to tolerate the yuckiness of guilt feelings without saying negative things to yourself -- the yuck feelings are pretty much all the kick in the butt anyone ever needs and more (see below).
Guilt to Get Smarter vs. Guilt to Get Dumb
Being Responsible
Guilt feelings are natural reactions to bad things happening, whether it was your fault or not. Guilt is a rehearsal-debriefing process that our brains put us through so we learn from disasters. What you learn is based on what you say to yourself as the yuck feelings go through you. Telling yourself over and over "I'm so stupid," or "I'm so worthless," for example, is the same as memorizing that your brain shouldn't bother to think. Telling yourself over and over again that "It was so stupid of me to do that particular thing," on the other hand, sets up an alarm in your brain that alerts you with anxiousness the next time you begin to repeat your mistake.
What to do: Watch your self-statements and make sure you are burning into your brain the appropriate message. (For more on guilt, see Guilt for Better or Worse.)
Be Okay With Not Being a God
Basic logic can take some strange turns in the minds of individuals with very poor self-esteem, as noted above several times. Another strange twist of logic can sometimes lead to the distressing demand on self that, short of omniscience and omnipotence (all knowing and all powerful), nothing is good enough when it comes to one's own performance in life. This is an extremely silly thing to do to one's self and it often takes someone else pointing it out.
Watch What You Say.
Self talk is as potentially damaging or encouraging as any talk you talk to anyone else. Most people don't realize it but it's true: the things you say to yourself can have the same effect as the things someone else close to you says. You can believe put downs, discouragements and finalities. If you tell yourself you're an idiot, it has the same effect as if you tell a child she is an idiot. If you tell yourself that you can't possibly succeed it has the same effect as it would if you told a friend the same thing. When you pronounce something a failure forever ("you can't do that" vs. "you haven't been able to do that yet"), you tend to believe it that way.
What to do: Don't speak to yourself (silently or out loud) with any less respect or care than you would for a child or a friend.
Shoulder the Burden of Doing Your Best
Doing your best sometimes isn't enough to avoid the problems in life, but when you do your best, its the best you can do. Many people with very poor self-esteem avoid doing their best because they're pretty sure they will fail and they can't tolerate thinking of failing and having to admit they tried their hardest. Many of these folks can't accept that their best is their best and that it's okay to try even if you fail.
What to do: Do your best and critique yourself (ask yourself if you could do better) and accept that your best is the best you can do.
Being Perfectly Imperfect
What's wrong with being imperfect? Perfect wouldn't be perfect, would it? How many friends or opportunities would come your way if you never goofed up, never did something worthy of embarrassment and never said anything wrong? In case you really don't know, the number would be close to zero. Nobody likes somebody like that -- somebody "perfect" would make everyone feel terribly flawed. So perfect is actually imperfect. If you are imperfect with pleanty to improve and a motivation to steadily improve yourself, you're probably as perfect as possible. This is a much more reasonable definition and it makes it possible to actually work on being "perfectly imperfect."
Have a Little Faith
Many people seem to be comforted by the belief that if they are good little boys and girls, nothing bad will happen and God will provide them a DisneyWorld life -- and that if anything bad happens, it is Divine Punishment. (Note comments from two religious leaders that 9-11 was because so many Americans are gay and over-sexed.) This flies in the face of a huge amount of data that must be very difficult to avoid noticing. A recent estimate is that one out of one hundred of our children are being sexually exploited (pictures, films, etc.). It is also estimated that one out of four girls and one out of five boys has experienced a sexual assault by age 18. I personally work with a client load that at any given time includes at least six or eight clients who are struggling with the effects of being regularly raped by age 6. There are millions of examples that fly in the face of the theory that if you're good nothing bad happens and only if your bad does something bad happen. Also flying in the face of this idea is the evidence of all the thoroughly awful people who live lives of splendor.
It requires a ridiculously huge amount of mental energy to try to hang onto the delusion that this life is fair and for those that try to and then have that idea shattered, their whole existence seems to shatter.
Very poor self-esteem can be the direct consequence of trauma and tragedy or prolonged periods of anxiousness and stress when the individual contending with these things believes that life is basically fair. Many individuals with very poor self-esteem -- especially survivors of childhood abuse -- harbor the idea that they must deserve whatever hurt and abuse they may have suffered in life because it is an idea that was sustaining to them during prolonged periods of trauma. The idea can be sustaining because it seems to give hope of making amends through endurance of pain and terror. The alternative idea -- that no one will protect and that life is chaotic, dangerous and unfair -- is actually more devistating to children and some adults than the idea that abuse is deserved. Unfortunately, once the idea is adopted it can live beyond the time of abuse and cause repeated self-sabotaging behaviors until the idea is given up.
What to do: Drop the silly idea that we -- or just you -- live under the supervision of a God that makes life constant fun for the deserving and punishes the undeserving relentlessly. Look into almost any religious teachings and you can find all manner of support for the idea that the rewards of a good life are in the next life. Examine your own life and the lives of those around you and in the news and ask yourself if the purpose of this life might not be to learn to conquer our fears and sustain our Faith in the face of adversity. There is much more evidence of that than evidence of life being fair.
Assume the whatever Higher Power you believe in made you as smart as you need to be and will provide you the guidance you will need and that you aren't supposed to understand why things happen, you're only supposed to have Faith that there is a Plan and a Purpose for your life. If you don't believe in a Higher Power, then at least believe there is nothing saying you "deserve" any trouble you can avoid.
Take a Risk
It is important to understand that fears are just feelings and that if indulged, they worsen and if faced, they diminsh. Individuals with very poor self-esteem can become anxious about trying anything new. This can be due to a variety of fears or attitudes, many noted above. In spite of long histories of dealing with failures and terrors, one can tend to focus on not wanting to go through anything hurtful again and basically forget that one is a survivor and can at least count on that.
What can work: Listen for your breathing. If you are breathing, that means you've survived everything that's ever happened. Remind yourself that you're a survivor. Empower yourself by reminding yourself that you can have faith in yourself at least to the extent that you can survive. Don't expect this to be easy or for anxiousness to fade fast -- just expect to survive.
The Tortoise and the Hare
Slow Down, You Move Too Fast
Pretty much every individual with very poor self-esteem that I've worked with wanted things changed yesterday. Any pace seemed too slow. Sometimes they put every effort in for a brief period and then become frustrated and quit self-improvement efforts prematurely. Sometimes they seem to want everything so fast because they're scared of the idea of a change and want it done and over before they can notice. Often they disrespect their own anxieties on the one hand while listening carefully to them on the other. Improving self-esteem can seem impossible, frustrating and/or way too slow.
Alien: Resurrection, 1997.
Cole (with sadness): Why do you go on living? How can you stand being what you are?
Ripley: Not much choice.
How to optimize efforts: Remember the story of tortoise and the hare -- slow but steady wins the race. Let yourself respect your own fears and push through them slowly, letting yourself make changes at your own pace.
You Are Here
Gotta Start Where You Are
Whereever you're at, that's where you have to start. Many individuals with very poor self-esteems find it almost intolerable to think about their situation in detail -- what attitudes and behaviors they need to work on. This can cause some problems getting anywhere -- along the lines of being in Utah and needing to get to Kansas, but not wanting to admit to yourself that you're in Utah. It makes a practical route difficult to decide on.
Fix: Give yourself permission to look at and accept where you are starting from.
Do it yourself.
One of the toughest of the illogical thinking loops that individuals with very poor self-esteem can get into is the quest for someone to trust better than themselves to take over and fix their lives. This is a very tough problem because most people with very poor self-esteem have earned a healthy distrust of others -- though they may think this is not healthy. Also, it gets more complicated because they may tend to define being able to trust someone as being 100% sure that that person will be 100% capable and knowledgeable and 100% looking out for their interests. (For more information and ideas about trusting others, see "Trust Issues with Self and Others.") Thus, without ever really pinpointing or recognizing the problem, they don't trust their own judgement so they look for someone they trust enough to tell them what to do about not trusting themselves or anyone else -- but they don't trust themselves to decide who to trust and they wouldn't be able to trust someone else that much anyway. So they won't trust anyone until they find someone they can trust to tell them who to trust.
It is often almost devistatingly frightening to tell an individual with a very poor self-esteem that relying on themselves -- with input from others if they wish -- to make big decisions is probably the best they can do as far as finding someone to rely on. A frequent first reaction is panic to think that everyone is pretty much flawed and no more trustable than they themselves.
What to do: Decide you better put yourself in somebody's hands and just go with it. I generally recommend to people that they chose themselves. As flawed as they themselves might be, it's usually the best choice because everyone else is flawed too. And when the panic about that comes up then it's a good idea to soothe it down either with Faith in a Higher Power or faith that no matter what happens it will all be over in a matter of years or less.
Motivation
Motivation
By James Harvey Stout (deceased). This material is now in the public domain.
What is motivation?
What is the source of motivation?
Techniques for exploring our motivation.
What is motivation? It is the dynamic by which we are driven to perform a particular action. When we are motivated, we feel an urge arise unbidden from our depths. We are ready; we feel that the time is right; we know that "this is what I am supposed to be doing"; we want to do it regardless of our previous failures, or any rationales to the contrary, or any pain or difficulty which we will encounter.
What is the source of motivation?
The ego. The ego's motivation is to create our human world, e.g., our home, income, social life, a healthy body, etc.
The soul. The soul's motivation is to explore the archetypes of spirit; we discern soul's motivation through intuition. This motivation is not contrary to the motivation of ego or the a-field elements:
Ego. Soul respects the ego's drive to create our human world, because that human world is the arena in which soul will function for its study of archetypes.
Charged a-field elements. Soul does not interfere with the dynamic by which the previous elements discharge themselves. The soul uses all of these experiences -- the pretty and the ugly -- as a means for learning about the dynamics of spirit and its archetypes.
Defaults. In addition to the motivation from ego and soul, there are motivations which derive from various dynamics and mental functions. These modes of motivation are mechanical defaults which we use when we are not directed by the fresh, creative guidance of intuition.
Charged archetypal-field elements. In every situation, we are confronting archetypes. Intuition can guide us in generating the particular elements (i.e., thoughts, images, energy tones, and actions) which constitute an appropriate response to those archetypes. However, if we are not aware of intuition (or if we ignore it), our thoughts, imagery, energy tones, and actions will not be entirely appropriate; for example, we will not say exactly what needs to be said. Because of this inappropriateness, the elements do not fully discharge their charge; instead, when they leave their permanent record in the archetypal field, there is a charge which lingers. It is this charge which compels us to recreate the archetypal situation for the specific purpose of discharging the residual energy. Thus, much of our motivation derives from these charged elements; for example, if we have generated hateful thoughts toward "irresponsible people," we will be compulsively motivated to perform irresponsible acts until we have resolved the charge. (This compulsion is often called "karma.")
Values. During a decision-making process, the mind refers to our "values"; for example, if we must decide between a high-paying job and an enjoyable job, the mind might discover that we value "enjoyment." We feel motivated to comply with our values; contrarily, when we do not comply with our values, we experience the painful sensation of "guilt." When we are motivated by our values, we are energized and excited; we find the drive and desire and resources to endeavor, and we feel satisfaction when the goals are reached, regardless of people's reaction. What we have achieved is real to us, because it satisfies our values. But if we accept other people's values as our own, we probably feel a weaker drive and an emptiness at the conclusion (if we had enough enthusiasm to persist toward the completion at all).
Desire. Motivation is the psychological process which is triggered when we experience desire.
Pleasure and pain. Although the motivation of ego and soul might lead us into activities which are incidentally painful, we are generally motivated by a desire to achieve pleasure or avoid pain. (Even then, we are motivated by pleasure and pain, because we feel fulfillment when we comply with our values, and we feel guilt if we do not comply.) These are two different motivations; some people are influenced primarily by a desire for pleasure, but other people's lives are guided mostly by their aversion to discomfort. The first group experiences more satisfaction and fun; we can join that group by expressing our goals in a positive way; for example, our motivation can be to earn money "for our family and our own comfort," rather than to earn money "to stay out of debt."
Techniques for exploring our motivation.
Archetypal field-work.
Self-talk. For example: "I am a responsible person." "I feel good when I fulfill my duties." "I can find something interesting in everything that I do." "Life is a fascinating adventure." "I enjoy exploring the many facets of life."
Directed imagination. We can visualize ourselves performing a task which needs to be performed.
Energy toning. To motivate ourselves, we can cultivate the energy tones of pleasure, excitement, passion, exhilaration, etc.
The "as if" principle. There is a time for examining our motivation -- but when the introspection degenerates into rationalization and psychologizing, we need to cease the introspection, and then turn to the chore and "just do it," acting "as if" we are motivated.
Intuition. Intuition can assist us in various ways, with regard to our motivation:
Intuition can suggest goals which naturally motivate us.
Intuition can reveal our contrary motivations. For example, if we have not been motivated to study for an exam, intuition might show us that we have a "fear of success" (and so we secretly want to fail the exam).
We can explore will and willpower. Will is the psychological function by which we direct our attention and actions toward the goal for which we are motivated; in contrast, willpower is the default which we employ to force ourselves to pursue a goal for which we are not motivated.
We can examine the defaults by which we are motivated when we are not driven by ego and soul. As listed previously, those defaults are values, desire, and pleasure.
We can explore our "positive intention" (as it is called by Ken Keyes, Jr.). Sometimes we are motivated to do something which is destructive to ourselves and/or to other people. At those times, we can search for our underlying "positive intention"; for example, if we are motivated to overeat because we like the physical sensation, we might satisfy our positive intention (to experience sensation) by substituting eating with exercising, sports, sex, or another physical activity. Keyes said, "How do you identify your positive intention? Just ask yourself what you would experience inside if you got what you want. When you go behind what you're doing or saying in the moment -- behind the goal you're wanting to accomplish -- you will recognize the reason for your goal. You are trying: (1) to see yourself as, or 2) to hear inside that you're, or (3) to feel secure, comfortable, lovable, loved, alive, strong, capable, worthy, etc. ... Remember, a beneficial, positive intention is always a desired internal experience -- not an action or goal." (The Power of Unconditional Love, copyright 1990 by Love Line Books.)
We can enhance the ways in which we motivate other people. Parents motivate their children; teachers motivate their students; bosses motivate their employees. We tend to motivate people through an external system, in which we give pleasure (e.g., compliments) or pain (e.g., humiliation). These external rewards are useful and necessary, but they can cause problems: external rewards can distract people from their internal reward system, and external punishments can cause fear, resentment, and retaliation. Ideally, we paradoxically motivate people to motivate themselves; we ignite their internal system, so that they perform well for the sake of the job itself and their own satisfaction. Then, the supervisor is not the personal dispenser of pleasure or pain; instead, he or she is a facilitator to an environment in which people want to do well.
We can develop patience. Sometimes lack of motivation occurs because this is not the time for any particular action. During this phase of the cycle, we can rest so that we will be ready for action when motivation does arise.
We can explore Maslow's hierarchy of needs. This model helps to explain why different people are motivated by different goals. In the hierarchy, we are driven to fulfill a "lower" need before a "higher" need seems important. (When that lower need is satisfied, it no longer drives us.) In other words, a hungry person isn't motivated by self-fulfillment; he or she wants a sandwich, and will work for it -- but a well-fed person is not motivated by that sandwich. According to Maslow, as we satisfy each need, we move to the next one, in this order:
Physiological needs. These needs include hunger, thirst, health, housing, etc.
Safety needs. These needs include physical security (e.g., a home which is secure from prowlers), a stable environment, law and order, and freedom from fear and violence.
Love and belonging. These needs include friendship, affection, acceptance, social connections, etc.
Self-esteem. These needs include self-respect, achievement, recognition, etc.
Self-actualization. The previous four levels are founded on a sense of lack. But after satisfying those basics, we start to become complete, distinct individuals who are inspired to pursue the expression of our full potential, our self-actualization.
By James Harvey Stout (deceased). This material is now in the public domain.
What is motivation?
What is the source of motivation?
Techniques for exploring our motivation.
What is motivation? It is the dynamic by which we are driven to perform a particular action. When we are motivated, we feel an urge arise unbidden from our depths. We are ready; we feel that the time is right; we know that "this is what I am supposed to be doing"; we want to do it regardless of our previous failures, or any rationales to the contrary, or any pain or difficulty which we will encounter.
What is the source of motivation?
The ego. The ego's motivation is to create our human world, e.g., our home, income, social life, a healthy body, etc.
The soul. The soul's motivation is to explore the archetypes of spirit; we discern soul's motivation through intuition. This motivation is not contrary to the motivation of ego or the a-field elements:
Ego. Soul respects the ego's drive to create our human world, because that human world is the arena in which soul will function for its study of archetypes.
Charged a-field elements. Soul does not interfere with the dynamic by which the previous elements discharge themselves. The soul uses all of these experiences -- the pretty and the ugly -- as a means for learning about the dynamics of spirit and its archetypes.
Defaults. In addition to the motivation from ego and soul, there are motivations which derive from various dynamics and mental functions. These modes of motivation are mechanical defaults which we use when we are not directed by the fresh, creative guidance of intuition.
Charged archetypal-field elements. In every situation, we are confronting archetypes. Intuition can guide us in generating the particular elements (i.e., thoughts, images, energy tones, and actions) which constitute an appropriate response to those archetypes. However, if we are not aware of intuition (or if we ignore it), our thoughts, imagery, energy tones, and actions will not be entirely appropriate; for example, we will not say exactly what needs to be said. Because of this inappropriateness, the elements do not fully discharge their charge; instead, when they leave their permanent record in the archetypal field, there is a charge which lingers. It is this charge which compels us to recreate the archetypal situation for the specific purpose of discharging the residual energy. Thus, much of our motivation derives from these charged elements; for example, if we have generated hateful thoughts toward "irresponsible people," we will be compulsively motivated to perform irresponsible acts until we have resolved the charge. (This compulsion is often called "karma.")
Values. During a decision-making process, the mind refers to our "values"; for example, if we must decide between a high-paying job and an enjoyable job, the mind might discover that we value "enjoyment." We feel motivated to comply with our values; contrarily, when we do not comply with our values, we experience the painful sensation of "guilt." When we are motivated by our values, we are energized and excited; we find the drive and desire and resources to endeavor, and we feel satisfaction when the goals are reached, regardless of people's reaction. What we have achieved is real to us, because it satisfies our values. But if we accept other people's values as our own, we probably feel a weaker drive and an emptiness at the conclusion (if we had enough enthusiasm to persist toward the completion at all).
Desire. Motivation is the psychological process which is triggered when we experience desire.
Pleasure and pain. Although the motivation of ego and soul might lead us into activities which are incidentally painful, we are generally motivated by a desire to achieve pleasure or avoid pain. (Even then, we are motivated by pleasure and pain, because we feel fulfillment when we comply with our values, and we feel guilt if we do not comply.) These are two different motivations; some people are influenced primarily by a desire for pleasure, but other people's lives are guided mostly by their aversion to discomfort. The first group experiences more satisfaction and fun; we can join that group by expressing our goals in a positive way; for example, our motivation can be to earn money "for our family and our own comfort," rather than to earn money "to stay out of debt."
Techniques for exploring our motivation.
Archetypal field-work.
Self-talk. For example: "I am a responsible person." "I feel good when I fulfill my duties." "I can find something interesting in everything that I do." "Life is a fascinating adventure." "I enjoy exploring the many facets of life."
Directed imagination. We can visualize ourselves performing a task which needs to be performed.
Energy toning. To motivate ourselves, we can cultivate the energy tones of pleasure, excitement, passion, exhilaration, etc.
The "as if" principle. There is a time for examining our motivation -- but when the introspection degenerates into rationalization and psychologizing, we need to cease the introspection, and then turn to the chore and "just do it," acting "as if" we are motivated.
Intuition. Intuition can assist us in various ways, with regard to our motivation:
Intuition can suggest goals which naturally motivate us.
Intuition can reveal our contrary motivations. For example, if we have not been motivated to study for an exam, intuition might show us that we have a "fear of success" (and so we secretly want to fail the exam).
We can explore will and willpower. Will is the psychological function by which we direct our attention and actions toward the goal for which we are motivated; in contrast, willpower is the default which we employ to force ourselves to pursue a goal for which we are not motivated.
We can examine the defaults by which we are motivated when we are not driven by ego and soul. As listed previously, those defaults are values, desire, and pleasure.
We can explore our "positive intention" (as it is called by Ken Keyes, Jr.). Sometimes we are motivated to do something which is destructive to ourselves and/or to other people. At those times, we can search for our underlying "positive intention"; for example, if we are motivated to overeat because we like the physical sensation, we might satisfy our positive intention (to experience sensation) by substituting eating with exercising, sports, sex, or another physical activity. Keyes said, "How do you identify your positive intention? Just ask yourself what you would experience inside if you got what you want. When you go behind what you're doing or saying in the moment -- behind the goal you're wanting to accomplish -- you will recognize the reason for your goal. You are trying: (1) to see yourself as, or 2) to hear inside that you're, or (3) to feel secure, comfortable, lovable, loved, alive, strong, capable, worthy, etc. ... Remember, a beneficial, positive intention is always a desired internal experience -- not an action or goal." (The Power of Unconditional Love, copyright 1990 by Love Line Books.)
We can enhance the ways in which we motivate other people. Parents motivate their children; teachers motivate their students; bosses motivate their employees. We tend to motivate people through an external system, in which we give pleasure (e.g., compliments) or pain (e.g., humiliation). These external rewards are useful and necessary, but they can cause problems: external rewards can distract people from their internal reward system, and external punishments can cause fear, resentment, and retaliation. Ideally, we paradoxically motivate people to motivate themselves; we ignite their internal system, so that they perform well for the sake of the job itself and their own satisfaction. Then, the supervisor is not the personal dispenser of pleasure or pain; instead, he or she is a facilitator to an environment in which people want to do well.
We can develop patience. Sometimes lack of motivation occurs because this is not the time for any particular action. During this phase of the cycle, we can rest so that we will be ready for action when motivation does arise.
We can explore Maslow's hierarchy of needs. This model helps to explain why different people are motivated by different goals. In the hierarchy, we are driven to fulfill a "lower" need before a "higher" need seems important. (When that lower need is satisfied, it no longer drives us.) In other words, a hungry person isn't motivated by self-fulfillment; he or she wants a sandwich, and will work for it -- but a well-fed person is not motivated by that sandwich. According to Maslow, as we satisfy each need, we move to the next one, in this order:
Physiological needs. These needs include hunger, thirst, health, housing, etc.
Safety needs. These needs include physical security (e.g., a home which is secure from prowlers), a stable environment, law and order, and freedom from fear and violence.
Love and belonging. These needs include friendship, affection, acceptance, social connections, etc.
Self-esteem. These needs include self-respect, achievement, recognition, etc.
Self-actualization. The previous four levels are founded on a sense of lack. But after satisfying those basics, we start to become complete, distinct individuals who are inspired to pursue the expression of our full potential, our self-actualization.
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Ex-President Bush Set for Parachute Jump
Ex-President Bush Set for Parachute Jump
Tue Jun 8, 2:52 PM ET
HOUSTON - Former President Bush is planning to go ahead with an 80th birthday parachute jump this weekend following the week of mourning for former President Reagan. Bush and his wife, Barbara, will attend Friday's Reagan memorial service at the National Cathedral in Washington, then immediately return to Houston for a birthday party Saturday in Houston and the Sunday parachute jump over College Station, said Jim McGrath, spokesman for the organizing committee, 41@80. The group's name is for the 41st president at 80 years old. Bush, a Navy pilot who bailed out from a damaged plane during World War II, also made a parachute jump on his 75th birthday. He will be accompanied by members of the Golden Knights, the Army parachute team, but will not be linked to a younger jumper, McGrath said. "This is a very, very important thing to the president, this is a solo jump. There will be knights around him, but it is not a tandem jump," McGrath said Tuesday
Tue Jun 8, 2:52 PM ET
HOUSTON - Former President Bush is planning to go ahead with an 80th birthday parachute jump this weekend following the week of mourning for former President Reagan. Bush and his wife, Barbara, will attend Friday's Reagan memorial service at the National Cathedral in Washington, then immediately return to Houston for a birthday party Saturday in Houston and the Sunday parachute jump over College Station, said Jim McGrath, spokesman for the organizing committee, 41@80. The group's name is for the 41st president at 80 years old. Bush, a Navy pilot who bailed out from a damaged plane during World War II, also made a parachute jump on his 75th birthday. He will be accompanied by members of the Golden Knights, the Army parachute team, but will not be linked to a younger jumper, McGrath said. "This is a very, very important thing to the president, this is a solo jump. There will be knights around him, but it is not a tandem jump," McGrath said Tuesday
Monday, May 31, 2004
1.Man of La Mancha (I, Don Quixote)
DON QUIXOTE
Hear me now, oh thou bleak and unbearable world!
Thou art base and debauched as can be;
And a knight with his banners all bravely unfurled
Now hurls down his gauntlet to thee!
I am I, Don Quixote,
The lord of la Mancha,
My destiny calls and I go;
And the wild winds of fortune will carry me onward,
Oh whithersoever they blow.
Whithersoever they blow,
Onward to glory I go
Hear me now, oh thou bleak and unbearable world!
Thou art base and debauched as can be;
And a knight with his banners all bravely unfurled
Now hurls down his gauntlet to thee!
I am I, Don Quixote,
The lord of la Mancha,
My destiny calls and I go;
And the wild winds of fortune will carry me onward,
Oh whithersoever they blow.
Whithersoever they blow,
Onward to glory I go
100 Life-Changing Books: Chosen by NBA authors
Have you ever wondered what your favorite author likes to read? The Foundation asked National Book Award Winning and Finalist authors to provide use with a list of the books that changed their life. Here are their responses:
1. Absalom! Absalom!, William Faulkner
2. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain
3. Alice In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
4. All the Kings Men, Robert Penn Warren
5. Arrowsmith, Sinclair Lewis
6. The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron
7. As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner
8. Aspects of the Novel, E.M. Forester
9. Audubon: A Vision, Robert Penn Warren
10. Bastard Out of Carolina, Dorothy Allison
11. Beloved, Toni Morrison
12. Blood Meridian, Cormac McCarthy
13. Body Rags, Galway Kinnell
14. The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
15. The Canterbury Tales, Geoffrey Chaucer
16. Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
17. Charlotte's Web, E.B. White
18. The Collected Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway
19. The Color Purple, Alice Walker
20. Confessions, St. Augustine
21. The Counterfeiters, Andre Gide
22. Crime and Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
23. Dark Symphony: Negro Literature in America, edited by James A. Emanuel and Theodore L. Gross
24. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
25. A Death in the Family, James Agee
26. Death of a Lake, Arthur Upfield
27. Doktor Faustus, Thomas Mann
28. East of the Sun and West of the Moon
29. Eight Men, Richard Wright
30. The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, Tom Wolfe
31. Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway
32. Fathers And Sons, Ivan Turgenev
33. Finnegan's Wake, James Joyce
34. Of a Fire on the Moon, Norman Mailer
35. For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway
36. The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck
37. Gravity's Rainbow, Thomas Pynchon
38. Great Dialogues of Plato
39. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
40. The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
41. The Fire Next Time, James Baldwin
42. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, Carson McCullers
43. The Essential Akutagawa, Ryunosuke Akutagawa
44. Henderson the Rain King, Saul Bellow
45. Homage to Catalonia, George Orwell
46. Horseman, Pass By, Larry McMurtry
47. The Idiot, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
48. Kafka's Other Trial, Elias Canetti
49. The King James Bible
50. The Left-Handed Woman, Peter Handke
51. Legends of the Fall, Jim Harrison
52. Les Miserables, Victor Hugo
53. Life on the Mississippi, Mark Twain
54. Lord of the Flies, William Golding
55. The Lottery, Shirley Jackson
56. The Marriage of Cadmus and Harmony, Roberto Calasso
57. Meditations, Marcus Aurelius
58. Metamorphoses, Ovid
59. A Midsummer Night's Dream, William Shakespeare
60. Moby Dick, Herman Melville
61. Monsenor Quijote, Graham Greene
62. The Moviegoer, Walker Percy
63. My Book House, edited by Olive Beaupre Miller
64. My Name Is Aram, William Saroyan
65. Native Son, Richard Wright
66. The Negro Caravan: Writings by American Negroes, edited by Sterling A. Brown, Arthur P. Davis and Ulysses Lee
67. Of Time and the River, Thomas Wolfe
68. Open Secrets, Alice Munro
69. Out of Africa, Isak Dinesen
70. Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha, Roddy Doyle
71. Paradise Lost, John Milton
72. The Pointed Bone, Arthur Upfield
73. The Poorhouse Fair, John Updike
74. Portrait of a Lady, Henry James
75. Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, James Joyce
76. The Prince and the Pauper, Mark Twain
77. Reading in the Dark, Seamus Deane
78. Remembrance of Things Past, Marcel Proust
79. The Richard Trilogy, Paul Horgan
80. A Season in Hell, Arthur Rimbaud
81. The Snow Leopard, Peter Matthiessen
82. So Long, See You Tomorrow, William F. Maxwell
83. The Stories of Breece D'J Pancake, Breece D'J Pancake
84. The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway
85. The Tale of Genji, Lady Murasaki Shikibu
86. Tales of the South Pacific, James A. Michener
87. The Tempest, William Shakespeare
88. The Temple of the Golden Pavilion, Yukio Mishima
89. Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe
90. The Times Are Never So Bad, Andre Dubus
91. Tom Jones, Henry Fielding
92. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
93. The Twelve Caesars, Gaius Suetonius Tranquillus
94. Ulysses, James Joyce
95. The Voices of Marrakesh, Elias Canetti
96. Walden, Henry David Thoreau
97. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
98. Watt, Samuel Beckett
99. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte
100. The Yearling, Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
1. Absalom! Absalom!, William Faulkner
2. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain
3. Alice In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
4. All the Kings Men, Robert Penn Warren
5. Arrowsmith, Sinclair Lewis
6. The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron
7. As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner
8. Aspects of the Novel, E.M. Forester
9. Audubon: A Vision, Robert Penn Warren
10. Bastard Out of Carolina, Dorothy Allison
11. Beloved, Toni Morrison
12. Blood Meridian, Cormac McCarthy
13. Body Rags, Galway Kinnell
14. The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
15. The Canterbury Tales, Geoffrey Chaucer
16. Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
17. Charlotte's Web, E.B. White
18. The Collected Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway
19. The Color Purple, Alice Walker
20. Confessions, St. Augustine
21. The Counterfeiters, Andre Gide
22. Crime and Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
23. Dark Symphony: Negro Literature in America, edited by James A. Emanuel and Theodore L. Gross
24. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
25. A Death in the Family, James Agee
26. Death of a Lake, Arthur Upfield
27. Doktor Faustus, Thomas Mann
28. East of the Sun and West of the Moon
29. Eight Men, Richard Wright
30. The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, Tom Wolfe
31. Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway
32. Fathers And Sons, Ivan Turgenev
33. Finnegan's Wake, James Joyce
34. Of a Fire on the Moon, Norman Mailer
35. For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway
36. The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck
37. Gravity's Rainbow, Thomas Pynchon
38. Great Dialogues of Plato
39. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
40. The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
41. The Fire Next Time, James Baldwin
42. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, Carson McCullers
43. The Essential Akutagawa, Ryunosuke Akutagawa
44. Henderson the Rain King, Saul Bellow
45. Homage to Catalonia, George Orwell
46. Horseman, Pass By, Larry McMurtry
47. The Idiot, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
48. Kafka's Other Trial, Elias Canetti
49. The King James Bible
50. The Left-Handed Woman, Peter Handke
51. Legends of the Fall, Jim Harrison
52. Les Miserables, Victor Hugo
53. Life on the Mississippi, Mark Twain
54. Lord of the Flies, William Golding
55. The Lottery, Shirley Jackson
56. The Marriage of Cadmus and Harmony, Roberto Calasso
57. Meditations, Marcus Aurelius
58. Metamorphoses, Ovid
59. A Midsummer Night's Dream, William Shakespeare
60. Moby Dick, Herman Melville
61. Monsenor Quijote, Graham Greene
62. The Moviegoer, Walker Percy
63. My Book House, edited by Olive Beaupre Miller
64. My Name Is Aram, William Saroyan
65. Native Son, Richard Wright
66. The Negro Caravan: Writings by American Negroes, edited by Sterling A. Brown, Arthur P. Davis and Ulysses Lee
67. Of Time and the River, Thomas Wolfe
68. Open Secrets, Alice Munro
69. Out of Africa, Isak Dinesen
70. Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha, Roddy Doyle
71. Paradise Lost, John Milton
72. The Pointed Bone, Arthur Upfield
73. The Poorhouse Fair, John Updike
74. Portrait of a Lady, Henry James
75. Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, James Joyce
76. The Prince and the Pauper, Mark Twain
77. Reading in the Dark, Seamus Deane
78. Remembrance of Things Past, Marcel Proust
79. The Richard Trilogy, Paul Horgan
80. A Season in Hell, Arthur Rimbaud
81. The Snow Leopard, Peter Matthiessen
82. So Long, See You Tomorrow, William F. Maxwell
83. The Stories of Breece D'J Pancake, Breece D'J Pancake
84. The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway
85. The Tale of Genji, Lady Murasaki Shikibu
86. Tales of the South Pacific, James A. Michener
87. The Tempest, William Shakespeare
88. The Temple of the Golden Pavilion, Yukio Mishima
89. Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe
90. The Times Are Never So Bad, Andre Dubus
91. Tom Jones, Henry Fielding
92. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
93. The Twelve Caesars, Gaius Suetonius Tranquillus
94. Ulysses, James Joyce
95. The Voices of Marrakesh, Elias Canetti
96. Walden, Henry David Thoreau
97. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
98. Watt, Samuel Beckett
99. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte
100. The Yearling, Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
Friday, May 21, 2004
Who is Stephen Bishop Seely and why is everyone talking about him?
Who is Stephen Bishop Seely and why is everyone talking about him?
Hey y'all. I just updated my website. Just got a cable modem and am loving it.
Hey y'all. I just updated my website. Just got a cable modem and am loving it.
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Funniest Joke
The World's Funniest Joke -- Official
Thu Oct 3, 2002 10:34 AM ET
By Corey Ullman
LONDON (Reuters) - After a year of painstaking scientific research, the world's funniest joke was revealed on Thursday.
In a project described as the largest-ever scientific study into humor, the British Association for the Advancement of Science ( news - web sites) asked Internet users around the world to submit their favorite jokes and rate the funniness of other people's offerings.
More than 40,000 jokes from 70 countries and two million critiques later, this is it:
"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
Researchers found significant differences between nations in the types of jokes they found funny.
People from the UK, the Republic of Ireland, Australia and New Zealand preferred gags involving word play, such as:
PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."
Americans and Canadians favored jokes where people were made to look stupid.
TEXAN: "Where are you from?"
HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."
TEXAN: "OK -- where are you from, jackass?"
Meanwhile, many Europeans liked gags that were surreal or made light of serious subjects such as illness, death and marriage:
A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?'
"But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.'"
Marriage-mocking also featured in the top American joke:
"A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
"He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: 'Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.'
"The man then replies: 'Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.'"
Death earned big laughs in Scotland:
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."
And animals figured prominently. Take the number one joke in England:
"Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
"The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
"The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
"The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk.'"
The survey revealed other fun facts:
-- Of the countries rating the highest number of jokes, Germans, perhaps surprisingly, laughed the most. Canadians laughed least.
-- If you want to tell a funny animal joke, make it a duck.
-- The most frequently submitted joke, at 300 times, was: "What's brown and sticky? A stick."
Researchers said no one ever found it funny.
The findings can be read at www.laughlab.co.uk
Thu Oct 3, 2002 10:34 AM ET
By Corey Ullman
LONDON (Reuters) - After a year of painstaking scientific research, the world's funniest joke was revealed on Thursday.
In a project described as the largest-ever scientific study into humor, the British Association for the Advancement of Science ( news - web sites) asked Internet users around the world to submit their favorite jokes and rate the funniness of other people's offerings.
More than 40,000 jokes from 70 countries and two million critiques later, this is it:
"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
Researchers found significant differences between nations in the types of jokes they found funny.
People from the UK, the Republic of Ireland, Australia and New Zealand preferred gags involving word play, such as:
PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."
Americans and Canadians favored jokes where people were made to look stupid.
TEXAN: "Where are you from?"
HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."
TEXAN: "OK -- where are you from, jackass?"
Meanwhile, many Europeans liked gags that were surreal or made light of serious subjects such as illness, death and marriage:
A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?'
"But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.'"
Marriage-mocking also featured in the top American joke:
"A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
"He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: 'Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.'
"The man then replies: 'Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.'"
Death earned big laughs in Scotland:
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."
And animals figured prominently. Take the number one joke in England:
"Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
"The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
"The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
"The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk.'"
The survey revealed other fun facts:
-- Of the countries rating the highest number of jokes, Germans, perhaps surprisingly, laughed the most. Canadians laughed least.
-- If you want to tell a funny animal joke, make it a duck.
-- The most frequently submitted joke, at 300 times, was: "What's brown and sticky? A stick."
Researchers said no one ever found it funny.
The findings can be read at www.laughlab.co.uk
Sheep Lost for 6 Years Gets Sheared on TV
Yahoo! News - Sheep Lost for 6 Years Gets Sheared on TV:
"Sheep Lost for 6 Years Gets Sheared on TV
Thu Apr 29, 9:15 AM ETAdd Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!
WELLINGTON, New Zealand - Shrek the hermit ram took six years to grow his massive fleece. On Wednesday, a champion shearer clipped it off in just 20 minutes on live television in this nation of 4 million people and 42 million sheep.
Named after the ogre from the animated film, the merino sheep had been on the lam and living in mountain caves for six years after escaping from his domestic flock.
But after coming in from the cold, Shrek lay quietly on his back as former world champion blade shearer Peter Casserly clipped 60 1/2 pounds of fine merino wool from the sheep in front of a local audience of more than 250 and a TV audience stretching from New Zealand to Japan.
In this country where sheep outnumber people by more than 10-1, Shrek has become a star since being caught recently in New Zealand's South Island high country.
The merino was captured hiding in a rock cave near the top of the "Bendigo" high country ranch in Central Otago on South Island during an annual muster earlier this month.
Sheep station musterer Anne Scanlan said the elusive Shrek "was wild when we caught him ... and he's turned into such a character and personality."
"It shows they are absolutely intelligent ... something people don't believe," she said.
Ranch owner John Perriam said the ram would have had "little food in winter" when snow piles up more than 6 feet deep, bitter winds blow across the mountain peaks, and grazing would only be possible when snow was blown off slopes.
The shearing ended with an unsteady Shrek wrapped in a special red and blue winter jacket fitted to protect him from the cold of the advancing Southern Hemisphere winter.
Children in the audience clapped as the sheep stood up, looking to be a quarter of his previous size.
Shrek's wool will be auctioned on the Internet, with proceeds being used for a "Cure Kids" cancer campaign in New Zealand.
___
On the Net:
www.shrekauction.co.nz
"Sheep Lost for 6 Years Gets Sheared on TV
Thu Apr 29, 9:15 AM ETAdd Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!
WELLINGTON, New Zealand - Shrek the hermit ram took six years to grow his massive fleece. On Wednesday, a champion shearer clipped it off in just 20 minutes on live television in this nation of 4 million people and 42 million sheep.
Named after the ogre from the animated film, the merino sheep had been on the lam and living in mountain caves for six years after escaping from his domestic flock.
But after coming in from the cold, Shrek lay quietly on his back as former world champion blade shearer Peter Casserly clipped 60 1/2 pounds of fine merino wool from the sheep in front of a local audience of more than 250 and a TV audience stretching from New Zealand to Japan.
In this country where sheep outnumber people by more than 10-1, Shrek has become a star since being caught recently in New Zealand's South Island high country.
The merino was captured hiding in a rock cave near the top of the "Bendigo" high country ranch in Central Otago on South Island during an annual muster earlier this month.
Sheep station musterer Anne Scanlan said the elusive Shrek "was wild when we caught him ... and he's turned into such a character and personality."
"It shows they are absolutely intelligent ... something people don't believe," she said.
Ranch owner John Perriam said the ram would have had "little food in winter" when snow piles up more than 6 feet deep, bitter winds blow across the mountain peaks, and grazing would only be possible when snow was blown off slopes.
The shearing ended with an unsteady Shrek wrapped in a special red and blue winter jacket fitted to protect him from the cold of the advancing Southern Hemisphere winter.
Children in the audience clapped as the sheep stood up, looking to be a quarter of his previous size.
Shrek's wool will be auctioned on the Internet, with proceeds being used for a "Cure Kids" cancer campaign in New Zealand.
___
On the Net:
www.shrekauction.co.nz
Monday, April 05, 2004
Monday, March 29, 2004
Word of the Day
I define myself as the following word of the day on March 29, 2004:
WORD: arcanum ar-KAY-nuhm (noun)
: A secret; a mystery.
: Specialized or mysterious knowledge, language, or information that is not accessible to the average person (generally used in the plural, arcana).
SYNONYMS: * puzzle
* unknown
* enigma
WORD WISE: Arcanum is from the Latin, from arcanus "closed, secret," from arca, "chest, box," from arcere, "to shut in."
QUOTE: Here we must enter briefly into the technical arcana of employment law.
--Paul F. Campos, Jurismania The Madness of American Law
WORD: arcanum ar-KAY-nuhm (noun)
: A secret; a mystery.
: Specialized or mysterious knowledge, language, or information that is not accessible to the average person (generally used in the plural, arcana).
SYNONYMS: * puzzle
* unknown
* enigma
WORD WISE: Arcanum is from the Latin, from arcanus "closed, secret," from arca, "chest, box," from arcere, "to shut in."
QUOTE: Here we must enter briefly into the technical arcana of employment law.
--Paul F. Campos, Jurismania The Madness of American Law
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Plain English Campaign: Press office: Our latest press release
At the end of the day... we're fed up with clichés.
Plain English supporters around the world have voted "At the end of the day" as the most irritating phrase in the language.
Second place in the vote was shared by "At this moment in time" and the constant use of "like" as if it were a form of punctuation. "With all due respect" came fourth.
The Campaign surveyed its 5000 supporters in more than 70 countries as part of the build-up to its 25th anniversary. The independent pressure group was launched on 26 July 1979.
Spokesman John Lister said over-used phrases were a barrier to communication. "When readers or listeners come across these tired expressions, they start tuning out and completely miss the message - assuming there is one! Using these terms in daily business is about professional as wearing a novelty tie or having a wacky ringtone on your phone.
"George Orwell's advice from 1946 is still worth following: 'Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.'"
The following terms also received multiple nominations:
24/7
absolutely
address the issue
around (in place of "about")
awesome
ballpark figure
basically
basis ("on a weekly basis" in place of "weekly" and so on)
bear with me
between a rock and a hard place
blue sky (thinking)
boggles the mind
bottom line
crack troops
diamond geezer
epicentre (used incorrectly)
glass half full (or half empty)
going forward
I hear what you're saying..
in terms of...
it's not rocket science
literally
move the goal-posts
ongoing
prioritise
pushing the envelope
singing from the same hymn sheet
the fact of the matter is
thinking outside the box
to be honest/to be honest with you/to be perfectly honest
touch base
up to (in place of "about")
value-added (in general use)
At the end of the day... we're fed up with clichés.
Plain English supporters around the world have voted "At the end of the day" as the most irritating phrase in the language.
Second place in the vote was shared by "At this moment in time" and the constant use of "like" as if it were a form of punctuation. "With all due respect" came fourth.
The Campaign surveyed its 5000 supporters in more than 70 countries as part of the build-up to its 25th anniversary. The independent pressure group was launched on 26 July 1979.
Spokesman John Lister said over-used phrases were a barrier to communication. "When readers or listeners come across these tired expressions, they start tuning out and completely miss the message - assuming there is one! Using these terms in daily business is about professional as wearing a novelty tie or having a wacky ringtone on your phone.
"George Orwell's advice from 1946 is still worth following: 'Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.'"
The following terms also received multiple nominations:
24/7
absolutely
address the issue
around (in place of "about")
awesome
ballpark figure
basically
basis ("on a weekly basis" in place of "weekly" and so on)
bear with me
between a rock and a hard place
blue sky (thinking)
boggles the mind
bottom line
crack troops
diamond geezer
epicentre (used incorrectly)
glass half full (or half empty)
going forward
I hear what you're saying..
in terms of...
it's not rocket science
literally
move the goal-posts
ongoing
prioritise
pushing the envelope
singing from the same hymn sheet
the fact of the matter is
thinking outside the box
to be honest/to be honest with you/to be perfectly honest
touch base
up to (in place of "about")
value-added (in general use)
Kansas Offers Free Land to Lure Residents
Kan. Offers Free Land to Lure Residents
Tue Mar 23, 2:03 PM ET - AP to My Yahoo!
By CARL MANNING, Associated Press Writer
MARQUETTE, Kan. - Dean and Jennifer Krehbiel are modern-day pioneers on the prairie. The couple are building a home in this small rural town after being offered free land as part of a giveaway aimed at revitalizing Marquette.
The idea was borrowed from the homesteading days of the 1800s, when the promise of land for the taking brought settlers by the droves to the Great Plains.
"It was enough of a bonus to allow us to look at the option of building. It sure caught our interest," said Dean Krehbiel, a U.S. Department of Agriculture (news - web sites) conservationist who was looking for a small town near his job in Salina, 30 miles from Marquette.
The Krehbiels moved here from the Wichita area, and their two children, ages 6 and 9, are going to the local grade school. That makes Marquette Mayor Steve Piper a happy man.
"In a small community, you have to keep the school system. Every child you bring in is more money for the schools. The schools are the backbone of the community," said Piper, a third-generation grocer in this town of about 600.
Many Plains towns are struggling to survive. Young people leave, old people die, and storefronts become boarded up one by one.
Marquette is among at least 10 Kansas communities offering free land to attract residents to boost school enrollment and fatten the tax base. Most such programs started in the past year or two, so it is too soon to measure long-term success.
Success, however, depends on what they can offer besides land.
"If the town doesn't have much to offer in the first place — pretty much the definition of a declining town — this approach is unlikely to make any difference. It sounds like a desperation move: `Please, pretty please come live in our town,'" said Frank Popper, an urban studies professor at Rutgers University in New Jersey.
Popper, who spent years studying Plains population decline, said similar programs have been tried in North Dakota, Minnesota and South Dakota, "but I haven't heard that there have been many takers or noticeable results."
Also, Congress is considering a homesteading law to reward people who relocate to rural areas with tax breaks and other economic incentives.
Marquette has a few things other rural towns don't. It has a downtown that is alive — a dozen well-kept storefronts, some with architecture from the 1880s. It boasts a bank, cafe, furniture store, motorcycle museum, soda fountain and gift shop, art gallery, a couple of bars and Piper's grocery.
It does not have many jobs to offer. But it is less than an hour's drive from three good-sized cities — Salina, Hutchinson and Wichita.
"We have tried bringing jobs to this town, but you might as well bang your head against a brick wall," the mayor said. "We decided it was better to bring in the families and let them work in the surrounding communities. We'll let them find the jobs — we'll provide the housing."
The land giveaway began last May, after the town bought 50 acres of farmland and divided it into 80 building lots, valued around $8,000 each. So far, 21 lots have been handed out, all but one of them to newcomers.
The town built the streets in the new neighborhood — which is situated near the town's rodeo arena — and provided the water, electric, sewer and gas hookups. The only requirement is landholders must build a house within a year and live in it for a year.
So far, four $100,000 three-bedroom homes have been built, and construction is about to start on six more. The Krehbiels hope to be in their new home in April; they are living in rented quarters in the meantime.
The Krehbiels were drawn here by the prospect of living in the kind of place where folks sit on their front porches to enjoy the spring breeze at night.
"I just like the small town for the fact you know people a lot better and they tend to help out more when there is a need. We like being part of the community," said Jennifer Krehbiel, who like her husband grew up in small Kansas towns.
The mayor said he hopes to have all the lots given away by the end of 2005. He said each house will add about $1,000 in tax revenue for a town with a $350,000 annual budget.
The families moving in so far have 26 children. The town has just 127 students in the elementary school, so the homesteading program has created a population boom in the classroom.
"Who knows what it will be like in 10 years if we don't do something?" the mayor said. "We didn't want to just sit here and watch the town get smaller."
Kan. Offers Free Land to Lure Residents
Tue Mar 23, 2:03 PM ET - AP to My Yahoo!
By CARL MANNING, Associated Press Writer
MARQUETTE, Kan. - Dean and Jennifer Krehbiel are modern-day pioneers on the prairie. The couple are building a home in this small rural town after being offered free land as part of a giveaway aimed at revitalizing Marquette.
The idea was borrowed from the homesteading days of the 1800s, when the promise of land for the taking brought settlers by the droves to the Great Plains.
"It was enough of a bonus to allow us to look at the option of building. It sure caught our interest," said Dean Krehbiel, a U.S. Department of Agriculture (news - web sites) conservationist who was looking for a small town near his job in Salina, 30 miles from Marquette.
The Krehbiels moved here from the Wichita area, and their two children, ages 6 and 9, are going to the local grade school. That makes Marquette Mayor Steve Piper a happy man.
"In a small community, you have to keep the school system. Every child you bring in is more money for the schools. The schools are the backbone of the community," said Piper, a third-generation grocer in this town of about 600.
Many Plains towns are struggling to survive. Young people leave, old people die, and storefronts become boarded up one by one.
Marquette is among at least 10 Kansas communities offering free land to attract residents to boost school enrollment and fatten the tax base. Most such programs started in the past year or two, so it is too soon to measure long-term success.
Success, however, depends on what they can offer besides land.
"If the town doesn't have much to offer in the first place — pretty much the definition of a declining town — this approach is unlikely to make any difference. It sounds like a desperation move: `Please, pretty please come live in our town,'" said Frank Popper, an urban studies professor at Rutgers University in New Jersey.
Popper, who spent years studying Plains population decline, said similar programs have been tried in North Dakota, Minnesota and South Dakota, "but I haven't heard that there have been many takers or noticeable results."
Also, Congress is considering a homesteading law to reward people who relocate to rural areas with tax breaks and other economic incentives.
Marquette has a few things other rural towns don't. It has a downtown that is alive — a dozen well-kept storefronts, some with architecture from the 1880s. It boasts a bank, cafe, furniture store, motorcycle museum, soda fountain and gift shop, art gallery, a couple of bars and Piper's grocery.
It does not have many jobs to offer. But it is less than an hour's drive from three good-sized cities — Salina, Hutchinson and Wichita.
"We have tried bringing jobs to this town, but you might as well bang your head against a brick wall," the mayor said. "We decided it was better to bring in the families and let them work in the surrounding communities. We'll let them find the jobs — we'll provide the housing."
The land giveaway began last May, after the town bought 50 acres of farmland and divided it into 80 building lots, valued around $8,000 each. So far, 21 lots have been handed out, all but one of them to newcomers.
The town built the streets in the new neighborhood — which is situated near the town's rodeo arena — and provided the water, electric, sewer and gas hookups. The only requirement is landholders must build a house within a year and live in it for a year.
So far, four $100,000 three-bedroom homes have been built, and construction is about to start on six more. The Krehbiels hope to be in their new home in April; they are living in rented quarters in the meantime.
The Krehbiels were drawn here by the prospect of living in the kind of place where folks sit on their front porches to enjoy the spring breeze at night.
"I just like the small town for the fact you know people a lot better and they tend to help out more when there is a need. We like being part of the community," said Jennifer Krehbiel, who like her husband grew up in small Kansas towns.
The mayor said he hopes to have all the lots given away by the end of 2005. He said each house will add about $1,000 in tax revenue for a town with a $350,000 annual budget.
The families moving in so far have 26 children. The town has just 127 students in the elementary school, so the homesteading program has created a population boom in the classroom.
"Who knows what it will be like in 10 years if we don't do something?" the mayor said. "We didn't want to just sit here and watch the town get smaller."
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
This is to bizarre. . .
Pastor Dies Watching 'Passion of Christ'
Pastor Dies Watching 'Passion of Christ'
Tue Mar 23, 9:50 AM ET - Reuters
BELO HORIZONTE, Brazil (Reuters) - A Brazilian pastor died of an apparent heart attack while watching the Mel Gibson film "The Passion of the Christ," witnesses say.
Jose Geraldo Soares, a 43-year-old Presbyterian pastor, had reserved two movie theaters at a Belo Horizonte shopping mall on Sunday afternoon to see the film with his family and the congregations of two local churches.
But halfway through the movie, Soares' wife noticed that he was no longer awake. A doctor who was also watching the film tended to Soares, but the priest was already dead.
"He was calmly watching the movie next to his wife," said Amauri Costa, a family friend who also attended Soares' funeral on Monday.
Soares is at least the second person to die while watching "The Passion," which opened in Brazil on Friday. Peggy Scott, 56, died of a heart attack on Feb. 25 in Wichita, Kansas while watching film's climactic crucifixion scene.
The film, which was praised by Catholic leaders in Brazil as a faithful depiction of events in the Bible, has been criticized by many for its violent and bloody portrayal of Christ's final hours.
Pastor Dies Watching 'Passion of Christ'
Pastor Dies Watching 'Passion of Christ'
Tue Mar 23, 9:50 AM ET - Reuters
BELO HORIZONTE, Brazil (Reuters) - A Brazilian pastor died of an apparent heart attack while watching the Mel Gibson film "The Passion of the Christ," witnesses say.
Jose Geraldo Soares, a 43-year-old Presbyterian pastor, had reserved two movie theaters at a Belo Horizonte shopping mall on Sunday afternoon to see the film with his family and the congregations of two local churches.
But halfway through the movie, Soares' wife noticed that he was no longer awake. A doctor who was also watching the film tended to Soares, but the priest was already dead.
"He was calmly watching the movie next to his wife," said Amauri Costa, a family friend who also attended Soares' funeral on Monday.
Soares is at least the second person to die while watching "The Passion," which opened in Brazil on Friday. Peggy Scott, 56, died of a heart attack on Feb. 25 in Wichita, Kansas while watching film's climactic crucifixion scene.
The film, which was praised by Catholic leaders in Brazil as a faithful depiction of events in the Bible, has been criticized by many for its violent and bloody portrayal of Christ's final hours.
Yahoo! News - World Photos - Reuters:
Sat Mar 20,12:29 PM ET
A Brazilian anti-war protester holds fake U.S. currency, modeled after the dollar bill but showing an image of U.S. President George W. Bush (news - web sites) and referring to the September 11 attacks, during a demonstration along Copacabana Beach in Rio de Janeiro, March 20,2004. Anti-war protests are taking place in many cities around the world on the anniversary of U.S.-led war in Iraq (news - web sites). REUTERS/Bruno Domingos
Sat Mar 20,12:29 PM ET
A Brazilian anti-war protester holds fake U.S. currency, modeled after the dollar bill but showing an image of U.S. President George W. Bush (news - web sites) and referring to the September 11 attacks, during a demonstration along Copacabana Beach in Rio de Janeiro, March 20,2004. Anti-war protests are taking place in many cities around the world on the anniversary of U.S.-led war in Iraq (news - web sites). REUTERS/Bruno Domingos
Songs Written by Fred Rogers
By The Associated Press
Two popular songs written by Fred Rogers, the host and creator of "Mister Rogers Neighborhood," the longest running series on PBS:
Won't You Be My Neighbor? (1967)
It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood,
A neighborly day for a beauty.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.
So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.
Since we're together we might as well say:
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?
Won't you please,
Won't you please?
Please won't you be my neighbor?
It's Such a Good Feeling (1970)
It's such a good feeling to know you're alive.
It's such a happy feeling: You're growing inside.
And when you wake up ready to say,
"I think I'll make a snappy new day."
It's such a good feeling, a very good feeling.
The feeling you know that
I'll be back when the day is new
And I'll have more ideas for you.
And you'll have things you'll want to talk about.
I will too.
It's such a good feeling, a very good feeling.
The feeling you know that we're friends.
Source: Family Communications Inc.
By The Associated Press
Two popular songs written by Fred Rogers, the host and creator of "Mister Rogers Neighborhood," the longest running series on PBS:
Won't You Be My Neighbor? (1967)
It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood,
A neighborly day for a beauty.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.
So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.
Since we're together we might as well say:
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?
Won't you please,
Won't you please?
Please won't you be my neighbor?
It's Such a Good Feeling (1970)
It's such a good feeling to know you're alive.
It's such a happy feeling: You're growing inside.
And when you wake up ready to say,
"I think I'll make a snappy new day."
It's such a good feeling, a very good feeling.
The feeling you know that
I'll be back when the day is new
And I'll have more ideas for you.
And you'll have things you'll want to talk about.
I will too.
It's such a good feeling, a very good feeling.
The feeling you know that we're friends.
Source: Family Communications Inc.
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